Tag Archives: bloomberg

Breaking News: Fake News 1 Bazillion Times More Watchable and Trustworthy than Real News

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Daily Show is better than the real news. We all know this already. It’s smarter and more insightful despite being, you know, comedy. Well, I’ve got something to add to the list of reasons it’s better: Integrity.

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The clip above is from earlier this week. It’s an absolutely brilliant, terrifically funny and fundamentally terrifying bit on Fox News’s ties to the potential jihad-jockey who’s potentially involved in funding the potential “Ground Zero Mosque,” and who definitely has a financial stake in the Murdoch company. The discussion segues into a debate of Evil versus Stupid; is Fox News one or the other? I’m inclined toward the former, as the latter — as you’ll see in this clip — is just too unbelievable. But who says stupidity and evil are mutually exclusive? In any case, an utter lack of integrity is hard to argue with.

Last night Stewart hosted NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg to discuss the plans for the Muslim center in Lower Manhattan. It was an interesting and entertaining talk, and I think Bloomberg was calmly persuasive, though he glazed over the emotional aspects a little too easily. (For my part, I’m fully in support of the project as well, but that is the one point on which I have trouble holding ground in discourses about it — throw a a crying family at me and my edgy wit withers ever so slightly.)

At the very end of the segment, in a quick back and forth just before the commercial break when most viewers were likely tuning out, Stewart mentions that he and the Daily Show staff are hosting a benefit dinner for Bloomberg’s foundation. A little friendly banter, a nice way to end an interview. Or is it much more than that?

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I don’t think Stewart was just shooting the shit, I think he was walking the walk. He was, in a subtle way, presenting a disclaimer of having ties to Mr. Bloomberg, his guest. He was doing exactly what he showed Fox to be too stupid or too evil to do: acknowledge a connection between the broadcast and a subject of the broadcast.

Stewart, with his team of goofy sidekicks, holds himself to a standard of a legitimate news organization, a standard that our “legitimate news organizations” often fall short of. Through parody and farce he displays a model of what our Fourth Branch should strive to be. Oh, and he does it sitting down, too.

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Bloomberg Help Desk Quells Balloon Boy Panic, Could be a Hoax

From the Bloomberg Forums in realtime during the Balloon Boy fiasco. Going above and beyond the call of duty, this Bloomberg Help Desk rep listens patiently, offers viewpoints on parenting and karma, subtly suggests shutting up and getting back to work:

15:21:03 NBCM WORKER: HI
15:21:03 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: Thank you for using Bloomberg HELP! We have received your question, and a live representative will be with you momentarily. Thank you for your patience.
15:21:09 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: hello
15:21:51 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: how can I assist?
15:22:03 NBCM WORKER: any ideas on how we can get this kid out of the hot air balloon over colorado?

15:22:08 NBCM WORKER: b/c i am totally consumed by this
15:22:22 NBCM WORKER: and noone at my work is offering anything sensible
15:23:07 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: I wish I knew of a simple solution
15:23:25 NBCM WORKER: i mean is this helium going to slowly leeak out?
15:23:36 NBCM WORKER: or should we send the seals in with some chutes?
15:24:01 NBCM WORKER: and where are the parents in all this. im sorry to be venting. i just feel like i dont have anyone to talk to
15:24:38 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: please talk to me about it
15:24:49 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: I feel the pain.. I wonder that the kid is thinking up there
15:25:00 NBCM WORKER: this issue is bigger than just kids in hot air balloons
15:25:12 NBCM WORKER: its a lack of parenting in this country, its dispicable
15:26:25 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: Im sure the parents will never leave the kid alone
15:26:47 NBCM WORKER: i mean what did they have this balloon tied down with? 4 lbs test berkely trilene?
15:26:56 NBCM WORKER: like i have on my trout rod?
15:28:58 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: im sure we will find a lot of answers once this situation is resolved
15:29:17 NBCM WORKER: 6 year olds cannot hardly wipe their own bums let alone climb in a homemade hot air balloon and friggin set it free
15:30:12 NBCM WORKER: in other news apparently the dad was on wife swap, so now things are adding up. the dad, as if building a hot air balloon like a boyscout isnt bad enough, is a scum bag
15:31:06 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: karma
15:35:16 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: Patrick, hopefully the kid will be fine and you can get back to work. Is there anything else I can assist you with?
15:35:47 NBCM WORKER: too much to handle in 25 mins before the bell. but i thank you, kindly
15:36:15 NBCM WORKER: HEY WE GOT IT DOWN!!!!!!
15:36:24 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: NICE
15:36:55 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: thats great news, hopefully the markets will close high
15:37:00 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: thank you for using bloomberg help!
15:37:01 NBCM WORKER: exactly
15:37:03 NBCM WORKER: TY
15:37:17 NBCM WORKER: you’d make a great psychiatrist
15:37:46 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: thank you

The real question: Is this an actual conversation, or a hoax?

Yabba Dabba Doo You Have A Light?

Recent news reports say that in his latest crack-down Bloomberg is aiming to ban smoking in all NYC parks. OK, so to review: we’ve got a commie president, and a fascist New York mayor looking for a third term, which I assume will be when he solidifies, once and for all, his despot foothold. I’m overwhelmed here.

With all the tumult and terror and finger-wagging going on around us, I’d like to take you back to a simpler time. A time when men were men, and women stayed home and made dinner. When prehistoric birds opened your beer for you, and popular cartoon characters smoked with abandon. Here, a montage of sponsor clips from the original Flintstones, brought to you by Winston Cigarettes.

[Found the clip while perusing this worth-a-gander post from Slashfood.com.]