Tag Archives: tv commercials

OnStar: Deploying Windbags

Posted on Monday February 7, 2011 | Leave a comment

The Unhappy Mediator is really disappointed by our collective priorities.

 

Related: Facebook Status Reveals Humanity’s Descent Down (Storm) Drain

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Character Assassination: The State Farm Guy

Posted on Thursday January 27, 2011 | 5 comments

In this first edition of Character Assassination, allow me to present The State Farm Guy:

I don’t know what it is about him that makes me dislike him so. He’s just so… smarmy. He makes me squirm.

I know I’m not alone. Ask Google. Or the facebook. Meet I Hate The State Farm Guy, with over 2,500 friends:

(I’d steer clear of George Jungle. Yikes.)

I can’t decide whom I hate more, him or the esurance chick. But I fear my bitterness toward that pink haired floozy could be tinged with jealousy. My antipathy toward him is at least pure. What it is about insurance companies that their marketing campaigns are so likely to be divisive? Do you know anyone who’s moderate on Flo, the Progressive rep? I guess we wouldn’t pay attention to insurance commercials otherwise. Are admen that smart?

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Time(s) for the Weekend(er)

Posted on Friday October 1, 2010 | 1 comment

I never tire of watching 92Y’s brilliant parody of those insufferable New York Times Weekender ads. And neither will you:

It’s based on a couple TV spots in the NYTimes Weekender campaign. Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to find the full version of one of them. It’s a real shame, because there’s a lot of douche to enjoy. Perhaps you remember the I’m not a call now kind of guy guy. Oh! Hate you! After the jump, the best I could do to wrangle up the referents.

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I Hate Your Body… of Work

Posted on Friday September 10, 2010 | 3 comments

The “I Love My Body” Victoria’s Secret campaign has been running for several months now, but I only just had the pleasure of catching one of the TV spots. You guys love your bodies, huh? Go fuck yourselves.

I know, I sound so typical, but I don’t even care. Seriously… just go fuck yourselves.

Sure, I get where you’re going: we should all love our bodies. And watching videos of supermodels explaining why they love theirs (1, 2, 3, 4) really makes me reflect on how I feel about mine. Truly inspiring, thanks. I have an idea for Vickie’s marketing staff. If you want your models to seem relateable, your next commercials should show them standing in front of the mirror pinching millimeters of belly skin and whining about their insecurities. Wow, models really are like the rest of us! That’ll make me a VS shopper for sure!

Assholes.

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Guys Love Hot Lesbians and Hot Lesbians Love Corona

Posted on Wednesday September 1, 2010 | Leave a comment

That is the message being sent in this new commercial from ad agency Cramer-Krasselt, right?

Reminds me of Bud Light Lime’s anal sex campaign.

It’s hard to read the fine print at the end of the spot, but I’m pretty sure it says either “Warning: Consumption of alcoholic beverages may lead to balls flying at your face” or  “Please enjoy Corona responsibly, with a dental dam.”

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Turn on Your TV: These Ads Don’t Suck!

Posted on Thursday April 1, 2010 | 1 comment

Can you figure out why I love this commercial?

If you guessed it’s because I love candy bars and making fun of iPhone apps, you win.

And so does this commercial. Indeed, it won a video contest to get on the air. I’m into these commercial contests. There’s a lot of lowest-common-denominator stagnation in the advertising world, and it’s refreshing to see some creative average joes getting a shot before they’ve been co-opted by the media machine and brainwashed to deliver formulaic tripe. For another quality product of open mic marketing, peep this freaking gem from the Super Bowl:

While I’m at it, I’mma give a shout out to this AT&T/Motorola campaign. The ads were made by pros, but I’m not aching for a seamless segue here. Basically, they’re just more current commercials that make this Unhappy Mediator momentarily happy. I am digging the meta marketing approach bigtime; make fun of your target consumer, then sell the shit out of him:
fjdksa


Ah, commercialism in the digital age — there’s a sucker updated every minute.
fjdklsa

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That’s Mr. Pizza-Face to You: Embracing geekdom now for corporate dominance later

Posted on Monday March 15, 2010 | 1 comment

When I saw this commercial it surprised me to find that it was a PSA for a program from Time Warner Cable. It takes a lot for me to say nice things about Time Warner (shyster assholes), but this is a much-needed message, well delivered. According to the website:

In November 2009, Time Warner Cable launched Connect a Million Minds (CAMM), a philanthropic commitment of $100 million cash and in-kind donations. This five-year program was designed to inspire students to pursue learning opportunities and careers in science, technology, engineering and math (STEM).

What do I see in the future? Well, I do hope that the US ups its STEM game in the global marketplace. But it’s disheartening to think that our bosses will have been encouraged in adolescence to nurture the chips that being a geek in high school piles on their shoulders.

Still, here’s hoping the nerds of today in fact become the innovators of tomorrow. Back up plan: train all these kids to put customers on hold for an hour.

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Israeli Commercial Parodies Hamas Assassination While US TV Watchers Debate Failing Starlet’s Baby-Aimed Tantrum

Posted on Thursday March 11, 2010 | Leave a comment

OK, we get it. Life in the Middle East is way more real. You don’t have to go rubbing our noses in it.

While Americans are spending another day up-in-tweets about the Lindsay Lohan/E Trade litigation, over in Israel a supermarket chain is airing a TV commercial that parodies the assassination of a Hamas leader in Dubai earlier this year. The ad, reports the BBC, features garishly-costumed actors and security-camera-esque footage (blatant and unabashed references to the successful assassination scheme), as well as the tag line “We offer killer prices.”

No punches pulled. Man. You couldn’t just let us have this one, could you? We get a healthy nationwide debate going — Is Lindsay really a milkaholic? Does she have one-name star power? Is that baby wearing underwear? — and you gotta go and one-up us like this with your edginess and your jihad. Sheesh. Let someone else have the drama for once, wouldja.

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TV’s Most Meta Infomercial

Posted on Thursday March 4, 2010 | 1 comment

It’s an infomercial. But it’s making fun of infomercials. But it’s still an infomercial. Whoa.

And… AND! It’s got Gilbert Gottfried. Freaking brilliant. I mean, if you’re going to have some announcer yell at you for being too idiotic to complete simple tasks, it might as well be Hollywood’s loudest man berating you via boob tube. You know, come to think of it, I never did see why I had to bend all the way over to put on and take off my shoes…

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Erstwhile Heartthrobs, Heavier, Hawk Headsets, Depress

Posted on Friday February 5, 2010 | Leave a comment

I received this comment yesterday from a devoted reader:

  • eddie // Thursday February 4, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    no review of the bloated eric clapton shilling for t-mobile. oh look, its buddy guy calling, i wonder if any other irrelevant people will call.

    • Wouldn’t want to disappoint, Eddie, and indeed I’m pleased to take a moment for this ad.

    Bloated is right. And I’ll tell you what really grosses me out about this commercial: seeing Clapton-of-today’s puffy mane-framed face while hearing his voice say “I get off on.” Ew. There’s really an age at which one shouldn’t be allowed to say stuff like “get off” anymore. Whatever it is, he’s past it. As a consumer, I wouldn’t want to think of Eric Clapton getting off every time I get a call from a fading Blues musician. Doesn’t help none that the phone is called MyTouch. [shudder]

    And while we’re on the subject of mobile endorsements by once-desirable celebrities succumbed to severe edema…

    So where did all those minutes go, dough boy? Are they lost forever, along with all those offers for projects that aren’t humiliating? To wit:

    “This… this is just not right.”

    Couldn’t have said it better myself, Luke.

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