Tag Archives: time warner cable

Thank You For Holding, How Can I Not Help You?

Ever had one of those customer service calls that makes you feel like you’ve been going in circles for hours? You were. And if you’re a customer of Time Warner Cable, they’ve probably serviced you a dozen different ways already (with no Vaseline).

The New York Times reported yesterday that the city is trying to alleviate the the pain all TWC customers feel at one time or another, like when you’re given that infamous four-hour window:

But now, customers may finally get a small measure of justice for what many complain is unfair and just plain rude treatment at the hands of the cable-company giants.Under the terms of a new contract negotiated with City Hall, Time Warner Cable and Cablevision will have to pay for failing to honor appointments. And they will have to do a lot more to make sure that subscribers are getting good service.

The contract would make cable customers eligible for a credit equal to a full month’s bill if a technician does not arrive on time….

Customers can request notification by e-mail, phone or text message when a technician is heading to their home. And in most cases, after making a choice from an automated menu, a customer should have to wait no more than 30 seconds to speak to a representative.

Until then we have to suffer the old fashioned way, on the phone and online. With the reliably shitty service the company provides and the torturous hoop-jumping required to deal with it, I have to wonder why they’d offer to send you transcripts of the online chats you can have with their associates.

After the jump, a real TWC live chat technical support session between a customer at the end of his rope and a service rep at the end of her shift — with emphasis and commentary added. By me. With a hefty dose of enraged empathy.

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That’s Mr. Pizza-Face to You: Embracing geekdom now for corporate dominance later

When I saw this commercial it surprised me to find that it was a PSA for a program from Time Warner Cable. It takes a lot for me to say nice things about Time Warner (shyster assholes), but this is a much-needed message, well delivered. According to the website:

In November 2009, Time Warner Cable launched Connect a Million Minds (CAMM), a philanthropic commitment of $100 million cash and in-kind donations. This five-year program was designed to inspire students to pursue learning opportunities and careers in science, technology, engineering and math (STEM).

What do I see in the future? Well, I do hope that the US ups its STEM game in the global marketplace. But it’s disheartening to think that our bosses will have been encouraged in adolescence to nurture the chips that being a geek in high school piles on their shoulders.

Still, here’s hoping the nerds of today in fact become the innovators of tomorrow. Back up plan: train all these kids to put customers on hold for an hour.

Get in the Cage


For those Time Warner Cable customers with some free time and a hankering for the Cage, this one’s for you. Tune in to channel 700, HD OnDemand, for your choice of 19, that’s right, folks, 19 Nicolas Cage movies.

  1. Ant Bully
  2. City of Angels
  3. Con Air
  4. Face/Off
  5. Gone in 60 Seconds
  6. Kiss of Death
  7. Knowing
  8. Leaving Las Vegas
  9. Lord of War

    Buy this.

    Buy this.

  10. Matchstick Men
  11. Moonstruck
  12. National Treasure
  13. Racing with the Moon
  14. The Rock
  15. Valley Girl
  16. Vampire’s Kiss
  17. Wicker Man
  18. Windtalkers
  19. Wild at Heart

By “your choice” I obviously mean that it’s fully your choice in what order to watch them all. Incidentally, I’m sure they’ll put Ghost Rider on the list as soon as Ghost Rider 2 starts production. (It’s currently “in development.”) And if you’re craving a classic as I am, I believe you can find Raising Arizona on one of the pay on demand channels.