Tag Archives: bluetooth

What’s That, Sonny? Sky Mall Sells Old-People Humiliators

Sky Mall, this isn’t right. It’s one thing to sell something heinous and tacky to older folk with failing, hairy ears, but don’t tell them that an amplifier disguised as a Bluetooth headset is going to “enhance your image” or give them “a more youthful appearance.” I know you’ve got to move product, but that’s just mean. Gramps don’t know better.

Listen, old people. (OVER HERE, GUYS!) I’m telling you this for your own benefit. Bluetooth headsets make people look like assholes. Mainly because they refuse to take them off, which is basically what you’d be doing. ‘Course if you’re already an asshole, then, yeah, I guess this might “enhance” that image.

Turn down that damn rap music, ya whippersnappers, I got a call from my broker coming through.

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Reader Appreciation: Almost redundant, isn’t it?

I like this monkey.

Un-Happy new year, folks. You may have noticed a brief, unannounced NMH dematerialization in the final days of the aughts. I’ll cop. The Unhappy Mediator took a protracted tropical hiatus from virtually all things media, edged into realm of actually-happy, and as such, stymied the site’s editorial mission.

But I’m back, and to honor that mission in the nascent decade, I’d like to introduce a new rubric, Reader Appreciation, wherein we doff our post to those virtual visitors who keenly and deftly stumble upon the heart of No Happy Medium.

Without much further ado, and with the best of wishes (and a sheepish apology for half a December of neglect), the first NHM reader shout-out:

jkljkl

Thanks to the reader who found the site by searching                     “asshole with bluetooth.”

For the Asshole on the Go

Whether you’re mountain biking at Big Sur or navigating the concrete jungle, you don’t want your bluetooth headset, mp3 earbuds and wraparounds to interfere with each other — or worse, clash. Thank god Oakley is there for the guy who’s ready to out asshole the assholes.