Tag Archives: magazines

Only Cannibals Don’t Use Commas

If you forget to use commas (or are the unfortunate subject of a cover story edited by Cro-Magnons), snide bloggers will tell the world that you like to eat your family and your dog. An embarrassment no matter how expertly prepared the meal.

NYC Protests Get Real (Sexy)

While commuters and the news channels were gearing up for Occupy’s subway takeover¬†this afternoon (sayeth the website: “Facing the most brutal assault on our Democracy since 9-11, New Yorkers must once again stand as one!” end quote), another storm was brewing outside the tony office towers of Manhattan’s 6th Avenue.

Protesters lined the street today in front of publishing powerhouse Time & Life, raising placards of dissent and voices in riotous chanting:

Bradley Cooper is just fine but Ryan Gosling is divine!

Following People Magazine’s contentious release of the Sexiest Man of Alive special issue, Ryan Gosling fans gathered to rally against the injustice of those responsible for putting Bradley Cooper, of The Hangover fame, at the top of the list of lust-worthy leading men. Donning Gosling masks, available for printing here, the small but boisterous crowd took a 99%-esque approach to the cause, minus spirit fingers and drums, plus unified message.

And like the Occupiers, the group railed against unfair banking practices. Spank banking practices, that is.

Why can’t this be real?

I truly believe this week’s New Yorker cover should be passed into law. It’s a pedestrian-traffic solution I’ve often dreamed about (while power walking in the middle of the street, fuming and muttering obscenities), but couldn’t summon the inner Swift to bring to light. Thank you, Bruce McCall, for doing in paint what I could never do in…well…anything.

I’m Writing a Story — Bring Me a Blond

There’s a little something I’m trying in the new year. It’s writing for other women, instead of exclusively nerdy pubescent and octogenarian males. Some time next month my first articles in a couple major women’s magazines will start to appear on newsstands, adding some softer edges to my portfolio — and some rougher ones to my personality.

Though writing for chick rags has been a welcoming entree into a world of puffy stories and exclamatory emails, I’ve also come up against the industry’s Spanxed underbelly, a cavern of cantankerous cuntery and fantastically unreasonable expectations buttressed by some of publishing’s most solid ad numbers and reader loyalty. The video above is frighteningly accurate. It’s not as much of an exaggeration as you think. I have received some of these very instructions from automaton editors. Get me three whiteshoe professionals from the midwest, one told me, no temps. From another:¬† I get most of my story ideas just talking to my friends and turning it into a trend piece.

Hit play for a glimpse into the terrifying trials of freelancing for the ladymags. It gives a good sense, too, of the general humility and humiliation veritably wrapped up in the freelancer’s job description.

[From Slate. Thanks, Jolene.]

Stick it to the Media

A man after my own heart. Self-described “geek comedian” Tom Scott has created a series of Journalism Warning Labels you can slap on your favorite — or least favorite — rag as a public service to other readers. Or as a stickily satisfying way to physically manifest your rage and disgust.

And how thoughtful, the kindly Brit included a link to a PDF of the labels that prints properly on standard American Avery sticker sheets.

Too bad we don’t have these for online publications. Of course if we did I wouldn’t be able to see my screen anymore. Too cluttered with labels like:

Warning: This post has been written by click whores riding the wave of this hour’s latest “news” story. There is nothing of value here.

Warning: Author has absolutely no credibility.

Warning: By clicking this link you are willfully contributing to the slow and inevitable degradation of human intelligence.

Warning: This video is not funny. The friend who sent it to you is wrong. I don’t care if he usually has the same keen sense of humor as you do. He’s wrong. It’s not funny. At all. Don’t waste your time.

[via Boing Boing]