Tag Archives: obama

Notes from Underground (on the N/R/Q Line)

I’m sorry; since when do republicans tag?

 

…and 1-percenters ride the subway?

 

 


Advertisements

The Closest I’ll Ever Get to Barack Obama

Yours truly, in good company along the margins of the LinkedIn profile of someone I don’t even know. I’d be quite interested to know what algorithm could generate such an absurd professional juxtaposition as myself and our esteemed Commander in Chief.

Must be the Harvard connection. He got his Law degree there in 1991. Ten years later I got my lip pierced at a mall down the street.

Heathcare Debate Reaches New Heights: Heaven.

I invite you to take a quick journey with me. Experience something magical the way I experienced it. It started on the IM:

yokiro: am currently reading a blog post with this great bit:
“Lastly, as we near the eve of another Christmas, I wonder: What would have happened if Mother Mary had been covered by Obamacare? What if that young, poor and uninsured teenage woman had been provided the federal funds (via Obamacare) and facilities (via Planned Parenthood, etc.) to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy? Imagine all the great souls who could have been erased from history and the influence of mankind if their parents had been as progressive as Washington’s wise men and women! Will Obamacare morph into Herodcare for the unborn?”
me
: is that for real? obama is going to abort the next jesus?
yokiro
: you haven’t even heard the best part.
it was written by chuck norris.
me
: stop it.
yokiro
: http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=34841

Go ahead. Click it. It’s worth it. But let me comment on a couple of my most favoritest parts:

In short, while President Obama was accepting the Nobel Peace Prize, the Democrats in Congress drove a sword through the womb of the unborn.

Hold the phones! Through the womb of the unborn? Now even the unborn can have abortions? That’s an outrage! (And impressive!)

Washington certainly has reached a new low by forcing American citizens who oppose abortion to pay for abortions via their taxes in this massively comprehensive way. Is it intentionally trying to spark the next Boston Tea Party? When our greatest values are thrown under the omnibus, how do they expect us to respond?

Um, apparently by throwing aborted fetuses into rivers?

Tell your representative and senators to quit fast-tracking these momentous bills without periods for debate and during secret sessions on weekends, when America is least attentive.

For that matter, don’t do it during Giants games either. Or when NCIS is on. Or when my wife is talking – blah blah blah – I just totally tune out.

It needs to reopen the pages of its history to our Founders’ elevated views of and rights for all human beings (including those in the womb), as documented in the Declaration of Independence and our Constitution.

(But excluding the blacks, natch.)

Don’t miss my Christmas column next week, titled “Away With the Manger,” about how the feds are whitewashing America’s Judeo-Christian heritage via a progressive, politically correct and pro-Muslim platform.

Oh, you better believe I’ll be there, buddy. Chuck Norris isn’t delivering blows to Islam, Islam is kneeling down and ramming its head into Chuck Norris’s fist.

Bearded Moms Trade Rap Sheets for Diplomas

While we’re on the subject of discomfiting banner ads for Obama-backed funding…

For starters: your mom’s a dude. And she’s got a kickin’ beard. Also, she’s a felon and her mug shot is circulating on the internet.  Oh, and she makes more money than you do.

Google Game: I am

I started today’s Google Game with “Am I…” but the results were too sad even for me. Am I fat, am I bipolar, am I an alcoholic. The Suggest results for “I am” were less depressing. Or so it at first seemed.

I’ll wait while you do a digital double take.

I am extremely terrified of Chinese people comes from this story on ChristWire.com. When I checked out the article, I, like many others,  couldn’t determine with certainty whether the article and the site were serious or satiric. Cracked.com describes ChristWire as their biggest internet rival, “in terms of producing articles that make you laugh and shit your pants in fear at the same time,” but if you look at the comments following CW’s posts, plenty of people don’t realize they’re supposed to be laughing. This could be because ChristWire’s stories maintain a level of ambiguity that confuses as much as it amuses (or because some of the articles really aren’t that funny). It’s also because the Christian Right in this country is terrifying — practically a parody of itself. Take, for example, the beginning of Conservapedia’s entry on Barack Obama:

Barack Hussein Obama II aka Barry Soetoro[1] (allegedly[2][3][4][5][6] born in Honolulu Aug. 4, 1961) is the 44th President of the United States

Sometimes it’s dangerously hard to distinguish between the brilliant and the crazy. You want to assume that the posts on ChristWire are all jokes, but there’s so much ignorant hate out there that it’s not always so easy to tell. (Well, except when it is.)

Despite Lagging Sales, Obama Crap Not Totally Uncool Yet

Any time is Obama time.

It's always Obama time.

Thank you to the AP and my good friend Chaniga Vorasarun over at Tonic.com for addressing a question I’ve been mulling on for a while, but was too lazy to answer for myself. Are people still buying Obama stuff? Says Vorasarun:

The president sells. At least, he used to. Prior to last year’s election, you couldn’t walk two feet without seeing the face of our future president on t-shirts, gazing towards the future in Shepard Fairey’s ubiquitous rendering, on mugs, looking concerned, even popping out of a box, as in Barack-in-a-box.

But now, after the glow of the first 100 days have worn off – and in its place have come debates over health care, climate change and the war in Afghanistan – some Obama-based entrepreneurs tell the Associated Press that sales of presidential merchandise have also waned.

Chani, I know you know this, but you’ve been on the West Coast too long. Come home and walk down 14th Street at Union Square with me and I promise you will be hit in the face (possibly literally) with Obamabilia, as you say, or Baratchotkes as I do. (OK, I’ve never said that before. But I might now – if it weren’t so tongue-twisty.)

It shouldn’t be surprising at all that sales are finally waning. Rather, I find it shocking that there are still sales to speak of. Maybe I haven’t lived through enough presidencies — Clinton and Little Bush haven’t helped my Executive Branch batting average — but I can’t think of any other instance where the merchandising of our Commander in Chief had such market saturation. The only comparably iconic presidential products I can think of are I Like Ike buttons or Nixon masks, and the latter really has Point Break to thank.

Whenever I walk down card-table-lined streets in the city I’m amazed that nearly a year after the election Obamamania yet rages, at least from a retail market standpoint. It’s pretty normal to sport your candidate’s moniker across the chest of a 50/50 poly-cotton blend before the nation heads to the polls, but it’s nigh on 2010 and Obama shirts and bags and pins and posters — and apparently the occasional jack-in-the-box, the creepiest of children’s toys — are still being shilled and shelled out for.

Eventually Obama the clothing line will go the way Umbros and Big Johnson, but for now our first celebrity president has the merch presence of a touring rock star. I guess that makes wearing Obama gear like boasting “I saw them at CBGBs in ’83.” And everyone wants a chance to say I Was There.