Hold the phone. Hold the freaking phone. A Google Game that generated pleasant surprise instead of soul-withering disappointment in humanity? Get out.
Cool games? Cool fonts? Cool websites? It’s what the internet is supposed to be about! Cool words and cool math games? I couldn’t be happier. Seeing those results puts me in such a good mood I don’t even feel like making fun of the people searching for cool quotes.
What I like about this set of Google suggestions is that it demonstrates some genuine, if misguided, attempts at self-edification.
I’m not quite sure why people are trying to find out what the most important languages are — can a language be unimportant? — and I don’t think that Catalogs.com’s list of history’s 10 most important people would have been my choice for top search result, but at least folks are trying, right?
Not long ago met a guy, a recent college graduate (well, it was art school), who has never read a novel. I was happy to guide him in the direction of a few potential first books, weighing his personality and interests, and managing to resist berating him mercilessly for his inexcusable illiteracy. I hope I make a lifetime reader out of him. Or at least that he reads one thing that’s not some highminded po-mo criticism bullshit. And I sincerely hope that some Google searching for most important books will lead to other hopeless illiterates picking up a volume or two. Maybe that’s a stretch, but at least “Most Important Websites” hasn’t made it to the top 10 yet.
I’m starting to think that maybe Google suggest isn’t the most accurate indicator of popular interest.
Maybe it’s my lazy reporting (the Unhappy Mediator is writing from the mountains this week, which may contribute to snowboardbummish journoblogger slackerdom), but I really don’t think that, like, so many people are searching for ways to get their sisters to sleep with them. Moreover, there doesn’t seem to be any interesting internet story behind “How do I get my sister to sleep with me?” No Christwire articles or anything. Just a handful of other autocomplete enthusiasts and a recent Yahoo Answers query, which seems to have been posted only recently — presumably after it started to receive bloggy attention. There’s some data mining here, surely, contributing to the painting of an inaccurate portrait of our collective search tendencies.
Then again, people are really into World of Warcraft and Farmville. Some people are, like, really, really into them. And some folks, I reckon, are really, really into family.
As we’ve seen before, searching Google is a popular and private way to express your deepest insecurities, while also getting to see that others out there are having the same worries. For instance:
Lotsa folks are unsure what other people think of them, and are trying to find out. Is it possible to drill down a little more, perhaps do a little demographic analysis? I think it is… Continue reading
For this week’s game we’re going to take it down in two parts. The top result doubtless has caught your attention by now, but we’ll return to that shortly. First, let’s tackle the seven items I’ve labeled a-through-g:
a. See (b.)
b. See (e.)
c. See (a.) & (b.)
d. See (c.)
e. See (f.)
f. Rewrite your resume, see (a.)
g. See (f.) & (c.) & (a.)
Now, click through for more on Canadians, and why you can’t have one.
As if fathers needed any help preserving the cause of the ubiquitous “dad joke.” In this week’s Google Game we stumble upon one more argument for instituting a maximum age for internet usage: the application to date my daughter.
What’s particularly remarkable about this painfully unfunny parody is that pages and pages (and pages) of search results reveal the same document over and over again, with almost no variation. It could potentially be the Web’s most robust document. Highlights after the jump.
Thanks to readers who have sent in their own Google Suggest suggestions. Here are a few searches that have caught the eyes of Unhappy Friends.
From Hilla P., Los Angeles, CA:
These results can be pretty neatly divided into 4 categories:
1. Health + hygiene (poop, hair, exercise)
2. Pet care (bathing the dog)
3. Car maintenance (lube, tires)
4. Financial distress (bankruptcy, donating blood)