Introducing The Google Game

google_logoGoogle is smart. And Google knows what you’re thinking. Soon you’ll be able to let Google do the thinking for you, but for now all it can do is help.

If you’re searching for Girl Drink Drunk, the classically hilarious Kids in the Hall sketch, it guesses your goal in two words. Or say you query “The Redhead” (in quest of Frank Bruni’s last review), Google lets you know that Google knows you’re referring to the restaurant in NYC.

Despite the eerie sensation of encroaching omniscience, Google’s search suggestions are still little more than a reflection of what we, conductors of the rumbling search engine, most often seek. The site itself explains – vaguely – that “as you type, Google Suggest communicates with Google and comes back with the suggestions we show….suggestions are drawn from…searches done by users all over the world, sites in our search index, and ads in our advertising network.” If you’re signed into your Google account and/or have your web history enabled, it also factors in your own sordid search past.

So what are we searching for? To answer the question I bring you the first weekly installment of the Google Game.  Easier than Go Fish, and much more revealing: I type a word or incomplete phrase into the Google search bar and report back Google’s suggestions. Then we ruminate on our collective shame.

After the jump, Google Game Round 1.

Google Game 1: How do I know

GG 8-25Notice a theme? We are insecure, we are poorly educated on the physiology of reproduction, we’re confused about downthere. And so are our dogs.

Next week we query “Why is.” Think you know what’ll end up in the top ten? Post your guesses in the comments. And check back Tuesday for the results. (You could cheat, but all those searches you did for +Jonas +Bros +Bathtub might skew the findings.)

13 responses to “Introducing The Google Game

  1. -Why is the sky blue?
    -Why is it so hard for men to commit?
    -Why is Pluto not a planet?
    -Why is Obama a Nazi? He’s black. I mean, come on.
    -Why is daddy climbing through the window at 2am?

  2. -Why is the sky blue?
    -Why is it that people never remember why the sky is blue even though you’ve told them a hundred times?
    -Why is there so much hair in grandpa’s nose?
    -Why is there so much hair in grandpa’s ears?
    -Why is them ears of his as big as dinner plates?
    -Why is there nothing but vampires on the TV?
    -Why is it that the US Treasury can just print up all the money they want for bailouts?
    – Why is it cool to eat dead snails when most people are too grossed out to touch them?
    -Why is it that homosexuals are not like refrigerators?

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