What’s That, Sonny? Sky Mall Sells Old-People Humiliators

Sky Mall, this isn’t right. It’s one thing to sell something heinous and tacky to older folk with failing, hairy ears, but don’t tell them that an amplifier disguised as a Bluetooth headset is going to “enhance your image” or give them “a more youthful appearance.” I know you’ve got to move product, but that’s just mean. Gramps don’t know better.

Listen, old people. (OVER HERE, GUYS!) I’m telling you this for your own benefit. Bluetooth headsets make people look like assholes. Mainly because they refuse to take them off, which is basically what you’d be doing. ‘Course if you’re already an asshole, then, yeah, I guess this might “enhance” that image.

Turn down that damn rap music, ya whippersnappers, I got a call from my broker coming through.

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