Spin, Store a Yarn

Saw this classified posting on mediabistro.com a journalism/media website this morning:

Yarn Coordinator job in New York, NY at SoHo Publishing Company

I’ve had plenty of editors say I need to spin a yarn, but I’ve never been in the position of having to coordinate one. I tried to imagine what that job would be like. You’d sit in your cubicle eight hours a day looking musingly up and to the right, conjuring tales. When one comes to you, you center yourself in front of the computer and enter it into a database. Or better yet, you write each idea down, slip it into a canister, and arrange it on a towering wall of cubbies. Train robbery? Transportation column, row crime.

Just when I was ready to file my own yarn under “I” for Ideal Job, I clicked on the description:

Publisher of consumer knitting publications seeks a passionate needleworker with excellent verbal and written communications skills…

Oh, how disappointingly… literal. Still, I liked the idea of looking for a “passionate needleworker” with “excellent verbal” skills and read on. Here are the choicest of the job requirements:

  • writing yarn updates and other yarn-related copy for magazines
  • answering yarn-related consumer mail
  • Must be extremely well organized and able to juggle multiple projects with aplomb

Do let us be clear, all updates, copy and mail you would be responsible will be YARN-RELATED. Juggling ability preferred. Ok, that’s a pretty common way of saying “multitask,” but to me, it’s hilarious juxtaposed with yarn, something one could literally juggle. C’mon, that’s funny.

By the way, this job pays “under $35,000” a year. And I’m not qualified for it.

One response to “Spin, Store a Yarn

  1. “must be able to keep the thread of a story…”

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