This morning I received an email press release entitled INCREASE PRODUCTIVITY WITH ADHESIVE SQUARES BRAND ADHESIVES. I’d love to increase productivity, I thought, but how can Adhesive Squares brand adhesives help me? I opened the email and was greeted with a list of solutions provided by Adhesive Squares brand adhesive products. Aha, I see it now. I need to stick stuff to myself. So I made a list of my own. A list of things I could stick to myself to increase my productivity. Here’s what I came up with:
- Those bills I’ve neglected and that contract I forgot to sign. Apparently acknowledgment is not a sufficient substitute for payment or signature. And that pile on my floor is not an effective “Outgoing” box.
- My laundry. This one could be tricky (it’s really been a while and that bag is heavy). Fortunately, according to the email, the company will work with me to “create the right solution for [my] unique application … Adhesive Squares™ brand adhesives allows the customer to retain their own adhesive goals.” And what goals I have! They go on: “whether bonding foams, fabrics, or fibers to any substrate* we make them compatible.”
*substrate = me
- A dated sign up sheet. That way people can book me for blocks of time and see what hours I have available. This should reduce scheduling mishaps due to:
- my own ineptitude
- my tendency to commit to something til it’s done, whether or not I reasonably have time to complete it
- people’s sheer disinterest in the value of my time (This is wishful thinking. Also, the value of my time varies widely depending on who’s paying)
- A pencil (see above)
- One of those fake clocks that one might see hanging in the window of a hardware store that says “Will return at…”
Here’s hoping that my Adhesive Squares brand adhesives plan for productivity improvement works. Next week we’ll look at where everyone else can stick it.