Category Archives: Information Stupor Highway

Idiocy on the internet.

BMI? Try TMI.

In case you felt people weren’t paying quite enough attention to your weight-loss efforts, now you can auto-Tweet the progress you’re making on those jelly rolls and muffin tops. Withings, maker of a sleek iPhone-adapted body mass indexing scale have now built Twitter functionality right into their app. From a press release yesterday:

Withings is announcing Twitter integration into its first-of-its-kind WiFi Body Scale. As the world’s first WiFi connected personal weight scale, it automatically records the user’s body weight, lean & fat mass, and calculated body mass index (BMI) to their secure webpage and/or free Withings iPhone application, WiScale. Now, with this new added feature, users can set up alerts to automatically post their updates to Twitter accounts, further motivating them by sharing their progress with followers.

“This social media feature was the next logical step in the evolution of the WiFi scale for our customers,” said Cedric Hutchings, Withings General Manager. “Here at Withings we are committed to roll out new features and services on the field thanks to automatic updates. Adding this social functionality makes the WiFi scale by Withings the first true flagship of the Internet of Objects.”

I don’t know what the hell the Internet of Objects is, but apparently it includes your fat ass. Personally, if I’m going to have anyone following the state of my posterior, I’ll stick with black guys I pass on the sidewalk. They say I’m fine the way I am. No WiFi required.

Feel Good Friday

A couple videos to warm the cockles of your cold and tired heart. Maybe even the rest of it, too.

First, a story of nurturing, separation, and the enduring power of love. And of shopping for wildlife at a department store. Money can buy you love: Lion Love.

(Full ending with original soundtrack here.)

For something a little less involved/narrative-based, put your eyes on Keepon, the hugably cute dancing robot that made a splash on the YouTube back in 2007 and was subsequently co-opted by researchers who use it to study autism and other important stuff. But its research value aside, and whether or not you’ve seen it before, it can’t fail to light up your day just a little.

For a new twist I suggest you have a friend G-Chat you the link so that you can have the video run mini-sized in the corner while you trudge through your inbox. NB: The song is great, but Keepon’s squishy moves work their magic even with the volume off.

And of course, I can always rely on the E Trade Baby. Holy smokes, these get me every freakin’ time.

If you don’t send this post to 10 people in 24 hours…

envelopeRemember chain letters? Real chain letters, the ones on paper that arrived in the mail. The ones you copied by hand and mailed, with postage, to 10 of your friends. And if you didn’t, you’d have years of bad luck. Seems like ages ago, doesn’t it? In fact, chain letters meant to bring luck have been traced back to the late 1800s, and their “Letters from Heaven” prayer-passing predecessors may have begun 100 years before that.

The 1980s, as some of us may remember, saw the start of the world record-seeking letters.

Hi this is a chain letter from a bunch of kids in Germany. They started it in 1975 and if it goes on till 1985 it will be in the guiness book of records it has not been broken yet So dont spoil it for them. Please copy this letter out six times and send it to six different people (Not the people below) and send a postcard to the first person on the list.

Apparently they were very popular in Germany…

This is a chain letter from Sil in Germany. It was started in 1986 if it goes through 1995 it will be in the Guiness Book of World Records (your name will be included) It has never been broken, so please don’t spoil it for everyone.

Of course, the Internet laid waste to that pedestrian tradition — and replaced it with an even more expediently (and immediately) annoying one, comprising the lamest of jokes, the drippiest of poems and, naturally, business propositions from Nigerian millionaires. Surprisingly, five paper chain letters were still in circulation between 2004 and 2008.

I’m neither the superstitious type, nor the type who oft overcomes laziness to copy and send out half a dozen notes, and as such I was never a big proponent of chain letters. And I certainly don’t miss them. But I do miss the way they reminded us how big the world is. An email from Australia is no more impressive than one from two cubicles over. A letter, on the other hand, posted from half a world away, literally has to travel half a world to get to you. Not one of those thousands of miles is virtual.

With the BlackBerries and the iPhones and the Internets, it’s as though the world’s billions are all within reach. It’d do us well to remember every now and again that we’re tiny specks on a big planet floating in space, and we’re not so close to each other as we think.

Jews Inherently Funnier than Shoes

Remember that “Shoes” video that was circulating for a while? People seemed to think it was funny? I never understood why, and frankly I found it downright unwatchable. But behold the power of parody. This recent send up, entitled “Jews,” takes an un-joke and actually makes it pretty funny:

Redemption through video response. Imagine the possibilities.

Video shows future of anvil shooting is up in the air

Anvil propulsion specialist Gay Wilkinson says that women often ask him why he does what he does.

“Why would you want to do this?” is not the first question that comes to mind when I watch this video. I think the Why is pretty obvious.

Rather, the first question is: Where does one procure anvils?

The second is: What authority bestowed upon this man the title of World Champion Anvil Shooter?                                                 (Oh, Mississippi. Naturally.)

[from gizmodo]

Two Tweets Up: HBO scrapes bottom of Twitter barrel for reviews

boredtodeath_1

Schwartzman is not my favorite part of this show. But you don't care. Nor should you.

HBO’s new series Bored to Death has a lot going for it. Well, it’s got Zach Galifianakis and Ted Danson, who, in the latest episode, was described by his erudite gay male escort as “a buff Samuel Beckett.” But don’t take my word for it. I write in full sentences and sometimes put my name on things. Who needs capitalized letters muddying up their opinions, anyway?

Bucking the long held tradition of quoting snippets of reviews from cited journalistic sources, HBO is now running a promo for the show that features mini-reviews from Twitter users (op-tweets?). The chosen three:

instant fave.
-@plectrude

i heart jason schwartzman!
-@buckygunts

i think i’ve found my new favorite show.
-@dazreil

Whose fave is the show, instantly? Plectrude, according to Twitter and her Blogger profile, is a “media junkie” in Romania who finds that “sometimes, society makes sick, and other times it intimidates me.” She is also 23 years old and a Libra.

And is it really Bucky Gunts, 19-time Emmy Award-winning sports director, who has a crush on Jason Schwartzman? Perhaps, if he puts 29-year-old casting assistant Christi Webb in charge of his Tweetage. (But, given the content, I doubt it.)

The other Twit who considers Bored to Death his favorite show is Daryl Smith, a self-diagnosed ADD “info junkie” (different from a media junkie – check the DSM IV) with a Tumblr account.

Out of context exclamations like “Spectacular!” and “Witty!” mean little enough when credited to well known and respected publications with established reviewers on staff. The changing whims of someone micro-blogging under a pseudonym — a nome de tweet, if you’re feeling fancy — have no place in official HBO marketing materials. The fact that Webb helped cast Christina Applegate’s sitcom, Samantha Who?, or that Dazreil follows Jon Favreau does not make them Hollywood authorities.

To be clear, I’m not trying to attack these individuals. (OK, maybe a little.) As a matter of fact, a cursory review of Mr. Smith’s posts shows he and I might share some musical tastes, and as I am also the author of an unedited and advertiser-less media blog, I come from a place of understanding.

What I don’t understand is why HBO promotional execs thought it would be compelling to potential new viewers to read the 140-character-or-less recommendations of three anonymous schmos. I imagine the reasoning went something like this:

Newspapers = dinosaurs. Twitter = cutting edge. Cutting edge = young audiences. Twitter reviews = ratings gold!

Maybe this is a sign that we need to put an age maximum on the Internet.

But throw in someone getting hit in the balls and I’m sold

I saw this Visa commercial recently and, watching blank-faced as a portly man danced goofily, but not remotely entertainingly in a hotel room, I wondered if people really still think that it’s inherently funny to see fat people dance.

Then, while I was on the YouTube enjoying the comedy stylings of my friend Joe Minolfi at Carolines — funny stuff — I got distracted by one of the “related” video suggestions on the right side of the page.

minolfi grab

This video, called My Humps, posted by user fatboygetdown, is clearly just two minutes and thirty-five seconds of a fat boy getting down (to the Black Eyed Peas). Why would I want to see this? Better question: Why have over one million one hundred and ninety thousand people watched it?

Oh, right, because people really still think that it’s inherently funny to see fat people dance. Sigh.

Look What U’ve Done

Peter Kafka stands up for acronyms’ old guard on AllThingsD today:

Internet culture, you owe the good people of Wisconsin an apology.

There they were, just minding their own business. And trying to generate a bit more business via the Wisconsin Tourism Federation, a 30-year-old industry lobbying group.

And then you smart alecks have to go and point out that the group’s acronym has become a popular way for kids these days to express befuddlement, in an R-rated way. (If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, go ahead and type “WTF” into a text message and send it off to some of your pals under the age of, say, 40. They’ll spell it out for you.)

So the WTF had to go and change its logo, Web site and name. If you’re looking for “Wisconsin tourism industry’s unified voice in government relations,” you should Google “Tourism Federation of Wisconsin” from now on.

What a hassle! All of which could have been avoided if you people were less reliant on acronyms and F-bombs.

But since that’s unlikely to change, somebody ought to give Finite Matters Ltd. a heads-up, too.

G2Gfone!

Skateboard Tetris Video Rocks, Rolls, Spins, Fits

Demonstrating once again that the quickest way to my heart is through my Nintendo, here’s a doozy of a skate video from a troupe of intrepid rollers on the hilly streets of San Fran.

If more kids played video games this way maybe there wouldn’t be so many fatties waddling around. Just sayin.

(Via Make)

Attack of the Memes: Twebinar

twebinar

I have a new least favorite word. I received a press release this morning announcing a “twebinar” taking place today. That’s right, a twebinar.

Twebinar (n): Webex Webinar + Live Twitter Session

Explains the release:

To post your questions and participate via Twitter, please follow Kevin Mallon at: http://www.twitter.com/kevin_at_fmi and use the hashtag #Bento3 in your tweets so that we will be able to respond to them immediately. The webinar portion of the discussion will run from 11:00am – 12:00pm PST, but we will be monitoring and responding live to the Twitter feed from 11:00am-1:00pm PST

Honorable mention to Twibes, the pwecious descwiption for Twitter-unaffiliated Twitter groups at Twibes.com.