Call a Spayed a Spayed

I’ll begin on the assumption that it’s clear to most sentient members of society — whose hearts aren’t constantly bleeding — that our national fixation on politically correct language got out of hand ages ago. And I’ll up the ante by suggesting that tiptoeing through verbal minefields lest you offend our dainty embrace of everyone else’s otherness is usually a complete waste of effort, and in some cases a gross underscoring of our most abhorrent prejudiced inclinations.


Respect me.

Agree with me or don’t on the points above, but there’s no question we’ve gone too far when we bestow PC niceties on our canine wards.

I saw a commercial for this product BackYard Buddy, an astroturf-topped litter box for dogs. As with your standard prime time infomercial-style ad, this one painstakingly lists all the problems a $30 piss box will solve, and the numerous reasons you need one. One of those reasons is that it’s great for SPECIAL NEEDS dogs. Not kidding. Take a look for yourself:


Um, that bitch got fixed, it’s not “special needs.”  And if it were you’d be perfectly justified in saying the damn thing’s retarded. Ditto for that “mature” dog sniffing urine in the other photo. It’s old. Not mature. Not aged or elderly or advanced in years. Old. Just say it, geez.

Whatd you call me?

What'd you call me?

Thank god for dogs that they are at once dumb enough not to know what you’re calling them and smart enough not to care.

Now we sit back and wait for the  days when ACLU starts a K-9 division, we have to stop commanding our dogs to “come” and Al Sharpton forces us to think up an acceptable name for the Black and Tan Coonhound.

4 responses to “Call a Spayed a Spayed

  1. The Black and Tan were a ruthless unionist militia that fought against Irish independence in the early 20th century. I would hope that you would be a bit more compassionate and not reference dogs which are named for this sad chapter in Irish history. Sheesh.

  2. If this saga turns into a movie I think Robert Downey Jr should play the black and tan coonhound.

  3. special needs really confuses me- i feel for the dog with special needs but wonder if a small section of fake grass on top of what appears to be some ugly pile wall 2 wall carpeting in what is likely a miserable suburban subdivided sprawl will solve that poor dog’s problems. all these euphamisms (sp?) remind me of the great george carlin skit…

  4. Anyone else uncomfortable with the third “Possibly related” post associated with this piece, or am I reading into things?

    Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

    * Brevard County – healthy Senior Maltese – DEAF in need of permanent home
    * Walhalla, SC~URGENT deaf, one eye gone, but still beautiful Needs Home
    * Yellow Watermelon? Since When?

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