More bad news for the single ladies, courtesy Broadview (née Brinks) home security: Dating will get you raped and killed. Fortunately for just $99 you can get a home security system to protect you from the predatory attacks you’re asking for by wearing that. For extra safety, try these three tips from the company’s TV campaign.
1. Don’t go on a first date:
2. Don’t ever break up with anyone:
3. In fact, don’t even talk to men: