Category Archives: Information Stupor Highway

Idiocy on the internet.

Patrick Jean’s Pixels Takes Over the Internet — I mean, New York [EDITED]

It’s Friday and to keep things simple I’m just going to say: Watch this.


(OFFICIAL VIDEO)

I particularly like that the description of the video in various bootleg copies on YouTube says that it was shot on location in NYC. Yes, that was why the observation deck at the Empire State Building was closed for two days last month: Donkey Kong was shooting a scene up there.

The director, Patrick Jean, is associated with (though not on the website of), French production studio One More Production. Division, which has made videos for Beck, Grizzly Bear, Architecture in Helsinki and the inexplicably buzzy XX. Do check out the site if you’d like to see a hypnotic animation of a naked chick queefing diamonds. That oughta ride ya right into the weekend.

Update: Should have gone with my gut. Patrick Jean did not make the film for Division, One More staffers tell me, which explains his conspicuous absence from the former’s site, as I’d originally noted. That said, the rest of the out-stricken text is still true, including most importantly the video featuring a jewel queef.

South Park Downgrades Facebook

Two weeks ago I painted a picture of Facebook as a friendship stock market. Last night on the newest South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone painted Cartman as social networking’s Jim Cramer. Gold.

jkl
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jk

Naturally, I identify with Stan, the episode’s central character, as his friends and family coerce him into joining Facebook, which promptly adulterates every real-world relationship he has and eventually sucks him in completely (and literally). I feel that his experience, albeit animated, is example enough to buttress my nonjoiner resolve. Oh, and PS, South Park thinks your farm is dumb, too. Just sayin.

Annals of Uncool: Where Do You Fit in?

If you’ ve wondered where on the (un)social scale you lay, I hope this Venn diagram will help you sort out your approximate geek/nerd/dork/dweeb quotient.

Oh, and for those inclined to comment and debate the categorization (which I fully encourage, of course), I created this easy reference:

[From GreatWhiteSnark via my mom!]

The Finances of Friendship in a Social Media Stock Market

Here’s the beginning of an interesting article called “The Social Media Bubble,” from earlier this week on the Harvard Business Review blog:

I’d like to advance a hypothesis: Despite all the excitement surrounding social media, the Internet isn’t connecting us as much as we think it is. It’s largely home to weak, artificial connections, what I call thin relationships.

During the subprime bubble, banks and brokers sold one another bad debt — debt that couldn’t be made good on. Today, “social” media is trading in low-quality connections — linkages that are unlikely to yield meaningful, lasting relationships.

Call it relationship inflation.
Nominally, you have a lot more relationships — but in reality, few, if any, are actually valuable. Just as currency inflation debases money, so social inflation debases relationships. The very word “relationship” is being cheapened. It used to mean someone you could count on. Today, it means someone you can swap bits with. [via all things d]

Such a strong start, but unfortunately author Umair Haque loses me pretty quickly. Indeed, this notion of “relationship inflation” is something I’ve been ruminating on for some time, and while Haque lays out some interesting points about the tenuous and ofttimes dangerous ties that bind online, he doesn’t ever fully make good on his principal metaphor. I’ll try. Continue reading

Reader Appreciation: Big ups to the flavor savior

Thanks to the readers who found the site by searching
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HM: “coca cola sex” and “ressurrection [sic.] of jesus motherfuckin christ.”

Reader Appreciation: A Dubious Honor

Thanks (I think) to the reader who found the site by searching
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Yeesh. See: Haitian Women Channel Aristophanes

Tufts YouTube Admissions Essays Total (Up)Load of Shit

This is on Tufts' undergrad admissions page. Who's jerking whom around here? Becoming a Jumbo is one giant Elephant Walk.

When I was in high school, the Brown University application included an essay that you had to write by hand. I thought it was stupid, but I also thought the college might accept me, so I went along with it. Later I heard about a girl who wrote her essay in a spiral that filled the page from the center out. I never would have thought of that. I realized that, no, I guess I wasn’t Brown material.

But I was Tufts material, which, I found out when I got there, didn’t really mean… anything. The school was liberal, but not lock-yourself-in-the-campus-center liberal. There was a conservative journal, too, though any association therewith was vilifying. It had artsy students, but they had their own house (I mean, “haus”), and enginerds and even a couple frats and sororities (shudder to think). And it boasted a degree of diversity, enrolling students from both the North and South shores of Long Island. It certainly never felt particularly progressive. (I heard Brown doesn’t even give grades!)

But according to the New York Times, Tufts is a beacon of collegiate innovation:

It is reading season at the Tufts University admissions office, time to plow through thousands of essays and transcripts and recommendations — and this year, for the first time, short YouTube videos that students could post to supplement their application.

About 1,000 of the 15,000 applicants submitted videos. Some have gotten thousands of hits on YouTube.

Tufts, which, like the University of Chicago, is known for its quirky applications, invited the YouTube videos. Along with the required essays, Tufts has for years offered applicants an array of optional essays — “Are we alone?” is one of this year’s topics — or a chance to “create something” out of a sheet of paper. So it was not too far a stretch, this year, to add the option of posting a one-minute video that “says something about you.”

Known for its quirky applications? I missed that one. I only applied to Tufts because it was on the common app. Digital video? I think not. Photocopy? Yes, ma’am.

You can scroll through some of the videos here. I’m fairly impressed by the stop motion stuff, but the rest of it makes me feel uncomfortable. There’s little more unsettling than teenage earnestness. If these YouTube applications are an indication of what to expect for the future of Tufts, I think it can be summed up in four words: Hebrew hip hop raves.

[Thanks, Jess]

History of the Internet (Right up to the Good Part)

Happy Monday, Nerds. Ever wonder how the internet started? No? Oh, well, once upon a time there was no internet. And then this stuff happened, and then some other stuff, like Eudora in the late 80s and Netscape in the mid 90s, and then your mom started contacting all your friends on facebook. This video, created by a recent “communication design” graduate in Germany, Melih Bilgil, takes a look at how it all began. I kind of love the retro educational film-reel feel.

A warning to true, God-fearin, freedom-lovin ‘Mercans — you’re about to find out so I may as well tell you: the word “Internet” originated in, gulp, France. (Contrary to popular belief.)

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True, it ends just as things are getting good. Look for Part II: Porn Takes Over and Part III: Update or Die! (wherein individuals who fail to document themselves online fade out of existence) coming soon.

Googlers Told to Buzz off; Yahoo Was Ahead of the Curve, Relieved No One Noticed

Pretty much as soon as Google launched Buzz in Gmail, the stings started a-coming. (I knew they would, I just knew it.) Alley Insider did a great “Code Red” timeline of the scramble to un-fuck-up:

February 9 — Google Buzz launches.

February 10 — In a post titled “WARNING: Google Buzz Has A Major Privacy Flaw,” We complain that before you change any settings in Google Buzz, someone could go into your profile and see the people you email and chat with most. Our complaint is that Google forces users to opt-out, rather than opt-in, to exposing this private information publicly.

February 11 — Google updates Buzz to make it easier to opt-out of publicly displaying lists of followers.

February 12We suggest this change doesn’t go far enough.

February 12 — A woman complains that Google automatically set her up to be followed by her abusive ex-husband.

February 13Google goes all the way, replacing an opt-out feature, auto-following, with an opt-in feature, auto-suggesting.

February 16 — Google promises more changes, including a more prominent “mute” option. Says a Google spokesperson, “Some people feel like there is too much noise in the inbox and this is something we are working on better controls for.”

A former Google employee even started a virtual Buzz complaint box.

But what really cracks me up about this whole thing — all the excitement and creeping-out, hemming and (ye)hawing — is that Yahoo started rolling out an automated social wire and status updates on the What’s New page of its mail client months ago (like, August of 09), and no one even noticed. They even posted the latest on the Mail blog on February 5, four days before Buzz exploded:

It’s less invasive than Google’s, as far as I’m concerned (I have email addresses with both), but still pretty, well, fucking stupid. Good thing for Yahoo nobody cares enough to give them a hard time.

[Thanks, Ahs.]

Reader Appreciation: Hope to meet you guys in the afterlife

Thanks to the readers, plural, who found the site by searching
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See: Video Cool on Own Merits, Not Just Because It References the 80s