Yeah, this tea pot featured on HazelandMare.com is awesome. Obviously. You want to leave a comment that says so? Sure. Knock yourself out. Doesn’t really get us anywhere, but always nice to hear a chorus of good cheer. But I’ll never understand what compels people to make comments like this:
Hahaha, oh this is awesome. My brother was such an A-Team fan when he was a kid. Feel better!
Who gives a fuck about your brother? How is this pertinent or enriching in any way? I wish I could regain the thousands of cumulative seconds I’ve lost reading meaningless commentary online (which is why I typically avoid comment sections all together … unless I’m really avoiding work) — don’t you, Pointless Commenter, wish you’d spent those precious moments saying something that wasn’t inane?
I don’t mean this as a personal attack. I mean it as a general attack. There’s no going back now, I recognize that. But once upon a time we spoke to each other in person and tried to avoid the vapid sputterings that brought conversation to an uncomfortable standstill. Imagine the faces of your friends when you’d say something stupid. The staring. The cough in an awkward silence. Conjure and reflect: The whole internet is staring at you. The whole internet just cleared its throat.
Oh, and not for nothing, but whose brother wasn’t really into A Team as a kid? Newsflash: No one’s.
simultaneously chorus and reviewer. Indeed, commenter may as well be lead actor the way people pour themselves into the role. It’s a theatrical cottage industry, as evidenced by things like 
No Happy Medium 
So This Is What I’m Missing on Facebook
Thanks to my little bro for sending me this golden nugget from the New York Knicks’ facebook page. He tells me that the admin posted the picture below with the caption “Browse through the Knicks City Dancers Auditions gallery from this past weekend. Over 500 dancers graced The Sports Center at Chelsea Piers to compete for a spot on the 2012-13 squad.”
Fair enough. But god help me, the comments. Really, guys, blodes prefer gentlemen.
Quoth the bro: “I don’t know exactly what to make of this, but let’s just hope the age of the internet comment is coming to an end.”
Personally, I choose Oblivion.
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Posted in Information Stupor Highway
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