Bulk Mail Bards

Not so long ago we looked at an awesome piece of spam mail that seemed acutely aimed at the Unhappy Mediator’s proclivity for the scientific. Well, yesterday I found myself once again immersed in my junk folder, and the language lover in me was struck by the inventive word choice and unusual rhythms of a handful of emails. They were downright… poetic. Indeed, the subject heads and first lines seemed to form perfect lyrical couplets. Below, a selection that would give even Chaucer a chubby. Shake William’s spear. Thaw Robert’s Frost. Make ee cummings. I’ll stop, I’ll stop.

Sad truth on your size
Potion for heroic banging

Avoid bed-loser’s fate
Love-skill increment

The night is a time to have fun in bed. Make this fun lasting!
Best girl-digging skills

Need your knob up?
Any girl will stay with you

I got a lot about you
In shape for making it?

Harder banging is real
Exploding ardor every night

Want to see her happy tears?
Don’t pay for delivery

High amour degree
Shoot your gin into her vagina

10 seconds and it’s up and firm
Confirm on receiving

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2 responses to “Bulk Mail Bards

  1. “Shoot your gin into her vagina”??? clearly i’ve been doing something wrong. maybe i need to up my girl-digging skills.

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