Category Archives: Gadgeteering

Personal tech, or Things That Go Beep.

Best Intextions: That’s Not My Name Edition

Posted on Wednesday September 8, 2010 | 1 comment

More strange and awkward misapprehensions from the world of text messaging. This time we take a look at some common misnomers…

Do you have a friend name Brian? I do. And when I text him my phone makes an ethnic assumption. I type 27426 and it gives me Asian. Well, I guess there  are probably way more Asians in the world than Brians.

If I want to write to or about my friend Andy, before I can get to his name my phone offers me Body. There’s something creepy about it that I’ve never been able to put my finger on. Speaking of body parts, when I check in on my little bro I get arm.

My buddy Robbie tells me that when he tries to write to a girl named Karen, by the time he punches in the “e” his phone assumes he’s writing Lard. Here’s hoping you don’t have a fat friend named Karen.

And nine times out of ten, when I try to write the name Kev it comes out Jew. It’s just a typo, but I got this mad jewy friend named Kevin and it cracks me up every time. Ha. Jew.

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Best Intextions: A First Look

Posted on Friday August 20, 2010 | Leave a comment

Long before Google Suggest and the Google Game your cell phone was trying to read your mind. Predictive Text, or T9, employs algorithms of spelling and common usage to help you skip all the button-pushing of old school 1-for-A, 2-for-B texting by suggesting words as you type. It creates a suggestion hierarchy — most likely candidates are listed first. For instance, hit 4-6-6-3 and your phone will suggest “good” followed by “home,” “gone,” “hood,” and so on.

Developers for the various manufacturers and carriers use different algorithms to predict what you want to say and the order in which words appear. Sometimes the sequence of suggestions makes you wonder what the hell they’re basing their math on.

Here’s a first look at some of the more entertaining and questionable predictive text suggestion progressions in a new series called “Best Intextions.”

Best Intextions: Howl it Know?

#1: Wolf
#2: Woke

Really, what are the chances more people are texting about wolves than about waking up?

Email  your favorite T9 text missteps to UnhappyMediator@gmail.com.

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iPad Solutions for Early Adopters

Posted on Monday April 19, 2010 | Leave a comment

If you want to print:

If you want to multitask:


The Wisdom of Woz
Why Apple’s cofounder wants two iPads.

By Daniel Lyons
Published Mar 26, 2010, from the magazine issue dated Apr 5, 2010

So have you ordered one?
I’ve ordered one for a friend. Then I ordered two for myself. One with the Wi-Fi and one with the 3G. And I’ll go to the store on Friday night and wait in line, just for fun.

What’s your favorite phone?
The iPhone, because of the apps. By the way, I solved the problem of battery life and [the lack of] multitasking on the iPhone.

Really?
Yeah. I just have two iPhones, so if the battery runs down on the first one, I can use the other. And if I’m talking on one, I can use the other one to look something up. You would not believe how much use I get out of that.

[From the Form Group and Newsweek]

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New Photoshop CS5 Must Be Powered by Magic Elves or Something

Posted on Thursday April 15, 2010 | 3 comments

The new Photoshop scares me.  Adobe Photoshop CS5, out this week, includes an eerily easy and accurate “content aware fill” feature. That basically means that if you want to touch up or remove something from a picture, the program looks around the image and intelligently fills in the empty space with fabricated content to match. Not just little holes, neither. It can fill huge swaths of the image with stuff it just makes up on the spot. Like that. It’s freaky:

On the one hand, the Photoshop moron in me loves how easy this is. But of course the photographer and all-around hater in me sees this as a terrifying precedent. Will we be able to believe anything we see anymore? And what about integrity in the craft? When I first learned darkroom techniques (in a high school darkroom next to and completely dissociated from the computer & Photoshop class) I was taught to respect printing full-frame, which means not zooming in on “the good part” and cutting off the “bad parts,” but taking photos that start out good across all 35 mm. Nowadays it’s like it doesn’t even matter what’s in the photo in the first place — just Photoshop it. It makes me sad. And angry, since I hang onto this antiquated view of taking and making pictures and my work turns out looking shittier than everyone else’s.

What is “the craft” anymore, though, really? Thinking of Photoshop as a different art than Photography makes me more comfortable with the evolution of digital photo manipulation. Helps me embrace the awesome accomplishments of CS5. But the distinction between Photography and Photoshopping is so blurry that separating them feels futile and idealistic. I’m sure there’s a tool in CS5 for that.

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Posted in Gadgeteering, Unhappy Media

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What’s That, Sonny? Sky Mall Sells Old-People Humiliators

Posted on Friday April 2, 2010 | Leave a comment

Sky Mall, this isn’t right. It’s one thing to sell something heinous and tacky to older folk with failing, hairy ears, but don’t tell them that an amplifier disguised as a Bluetooth headset is going to “enhance your image” or give them “a more youthful appearance.” I know you’ve got to move product, but that’s just mean. Gramps don’t know better.

Listen, old people. (OVER HERE, GUYS!) I’m telling you this for your own benefit. Bluetooth headsets make people look like assholes. Mainly because they refuse to take them off, which is basically what you’d be doing. ‘Course if you’re already an asshole, then, yeah, I guess this might “enhance” that image.

Turn down that damn rap music, ya whippersnappers, I got a call from my broker coming through.

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Once Upon the Cutting Edge

Posted on Wednesday March 10, 2010 | 1 comment

Last month Wired started a new blog, Wired Reread, wherein they look back at ads and articles in old issues. Some, like the beauty above, are pure gold. Ah, MiniDisc. I remember my friend’s older brother had a MiniDisc player. I thought he was so hip to the new technologies.

And there’s the AT&T ad from March of 1995, which includes this prescient copy:

In the future no matter where you are, the nearest phone will be close at hand. Miniature. Wireless. Small enough to wear on your wrist. Yet powerful enough to reach anyone. Anywhere in the world. The strap-on telephone. The company that will bring it to you is AT&T.

Got most of that right. I’m a little uncomfortable with the “strap-on” part, though.

And will we ever be able to thank Motorola enough for loosing us from the shackles of fax stacks? Imagine, you would be swimming in those half-glossy curled sheets right now. The horror.

[Via Gizmodo]

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Posted in Gadgeteering, Shoot the Messenger

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Prof Voids Laptop Warranty with Liquid Nitrogen

Posted on Friday February 26, 2010 | 1 comment

This demonstration in an OU physics course was intended to teach students not to bring laptops to class. The real takeaway? This would feel so freaking good:

Boy, talk about your computer freezing. Ba-zing!

For more fun uses of liquid nitrogen, check out this video from the chef of El Bulli and food author Harold McGee and get your hands on a copy of Jason X. Trust me.

[From Make via Engadget]

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Posted in Gadgeteering, Lab Results

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Erstwhile Heartthrobs, Heavier, Hawk Headsets, Depress

Posted on Friday February 5, 2010 | Leave a comment

I received this comment yesterday from a devoted reader:

  • eddie // Thursday February 4, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    no review of the bloated eric clapton shilling for t-mobile. oh look, its buddy guy calling, i wonder if any other irrelevant people will call.

    • Wouldn’t want to disappoint, Eddie, and indeed I’m pleased to take a moment for this ad.

    Bloated is right. And I’ll tell you what really grosses me out about this commercial: seeing Clapton-of-today’s puffy mane-framed face while hearing his voice say “I get off on.” Ew. There’s really an age at which one shouldn’t be allowed to say stuff like “get off” anymore. Whatever it is, he’s past it. As a consumer, I wouldn’t want to think of Eric Clapton getting off every time I get a call from a fading Blues musician. Doesn’t help none that the phone is called MyTouch. [shudder]

    And while we’re on the subject of mobile endorsements by once-desirable celebrities succumbed to severe edema…

    So where did all those minutes go, dough boy? Are they lost forever, along with all those offers for projects that aren’t humiliating? To wit:

    “This… this is just not right.”

    Couldn’t have said it better myself, Luke.

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    Posted in Gadgeteering, Shoot the Messenger

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    Sun’s Schwartz Tweets Larry Ellison the Finger in 5-7-5

    Posted on Thursday February 4, 2010 | Leave a comment

    I guess it’s official: The Internet has killed formality. Today we add another awesome resignation to the annals of unprofessionalism, and watch executive dignity go the way of the Full Sentence. In the wake of an Oracle takeover, Sun Microsystems CEO Jonathan Schwartz tweeted his way out the front door:

    Of course we all must know that this is not actually how he tendered his resignation, despite BoingBoing’s assertion of such. Though, it’d be a lot cooler if he did.

    [via NYT via BoingBoing.]

    http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/04/suns-chief-executive-tweets-his-resignation/?partner=rss&emc=rss

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    Posted in Gadgeteering, Information Stupor Highway, Write and Wrong

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    More Fun with the iPad (abusing it, not using it)

    Posted on Wednesday February 3, 2010 | 5 comments

    The technopundits spent months (years) hot under the collar waiting for the dawn of the iPad. And now that it’s here it’s caused a dizzying deluge of excitement commingled with bewildered disappointment and acrid bemusement. I’m gonna go ahead and jump on that last one. Never been a big Kool Aid drinker.

    So, here’s a phrase I never thought I’d say: Hitler was on the money. Behold.

    Adolf makes a great point I forgot to bring up in my earlier post: No Flash support. No Flash support?! How’s ol’ Jobsie going to make an essentially dedicated web-surfing device that doesn’t support Flash? It’s baffling.

    And on a related note, a pretty nice little graphic of Apple product evolution: (source unknown)

    Don’t you love the way SJ’s peeking out from behind his soon-to-be-released iSorry?

    [Thanks, Dror & Jeff]

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