Tag Archives: twitter

Not OK, Google.

There I am doing an innocent Google search for the latest on the Conan/Jay debacle when I notice results ensconced in freakin’ talk-bubble-boxes (see yellow highlighting):

Not OK, Google. If I wanted to search Twitter I would have fucking searched fucking Twitter. As if I didn’t feel had enough by this Conan craziness, now you gotta go search-resulting me comic-book style? F you, dude. Like I’d want to get my TV entertainment news from some hip hop radio station. Or this guy.  Totally lame.

Bigger picture, this is an unnerving turn in the world of internet search. That may sound dramatic. But. It’s hard enough as it is to click a credible source online without the Twitter vomit of no-name bozos appearing directly below legitimate news results — which are of questionable reliability to begin with, and yet the best we’ve got to go on. Throw a rock in the air you’re bound to hit someone stupid. Throw a query in the Cloud you’re bound to hit his latest tweet. Blerg.

NHM’s Sphere of Influence Expands, Now Includes Healthy Women

According to a source at the magazine, last Friday’s No Happy Medium feel-good video post gave the staff of Women’s Health such a giggle that they were inspired to tweet the E Trade baby outtakes clip to their Twitter followers:

womens health twitter

Never mind that they don’t acknowledge outright where they got the idea, or that No Happy Medium had absolutely nothing to do with how hilarious those commercials are in the first place. Being a journalist — or, ahem, a blogger — is all about letting the world know about the neat and wonderful things other people are doing.

BMI? Try TMI.

In case you felt people weren’t paying quite enough attention to your weight-loss efforts, now you can auto-Tweet the progress you’re making on those jelly rolls and muffin tops. Withings, maker of a sleek iPhone-adapted body mass indexing scale have now built Twitter functionality right into their app. From a press release yesterday:

Withings is announcing Twitter integration into its first-of-its-kind WiFi Body Scale. As the world’s first WiFi connected personal weight scale, it automatically records the user’s body weight, lean & fat mass, and calculated body mass index (BMI) to their secure webpage and/or free Withings iPhone application, WiScale. Now, with this new added feature, users can set up alerts to automatically post their updates to Twitter accounts, further motivating them by sharing their progress with followers.

“This social media feature was the next logical step in the evolution of the WiFi scale for our customers,” said Cedric Hutchings, Withings General Manager. “Here at Withings we are committed to roll out new features and services on the field thanks to automatic updates. Adding this social functionality makes the WiFi scale by Withings the first true flagship of the Internet of Objects.”

I don’t know what the hell the Internet of Objects is, but apparently it includes your fat ass. Personally, if I’m going to have anyone following the state of my posterior, I’ll stick with black guys I pass on the sidewalk. They say I’m fine the way I am. No WiFi required.

Google Game: W… What… What the…

Let’s start today with a quick refresher in internet basics, shall we?

gg w

Here’s a tip from someone who’s really web savvy: You can type those addresses right into that fancy address bar up there. Totally saves a step!

I mean. What?

Continue reading

Two Tweets Up: HBO scrapes bottom of Twitter barrel for reviews

boredtodeath_1

Schwartzman is not my favorite part of this show. But you don't care. Nor should you.

HBO’s new series Bored to Death has a lot going for it. Well, it’s got Zach Galifianakis and Ted Danson, who, in the latest episode, was described by his erudite gay male escort as “a buff Samuel Beckett.” But don’t take my word for it. I write in full sentences and sometimes put my name on things. Who needs capitalized letters muddying up their opinions, anyway?

Bucking the long held tradition of quoting snippets of reviews from cited journalistic sources, HBO is now running a promo for the show that features mini-reviews from Twitter users (op-tweets?). The chosen three:

instant fave.
-@plectrude

i heart jason schwartzman!
-@buckygunts

i think i’ve found my new favorite show.
-@dazreil

Whose fave is the show, instantly? Plectrude, according to Twitter and her Blogger profile, is a “media junkie” in Romania who finds that “sometimes, society makes sick, and other times it intimidates me.” She is also 23 years old and a Libra.

And is it really Bucky Gunts, 19-time Emmy Award-winning sports director, who has a crush on Jason Schwartzman? Perhaps, if he puts 29-year-old casting assistant Christi Webb in charge of his Tweetage. (But, given the content, I doubt it.)

The other Twit who considers Bored to Death his favorite show is Daryl Smith, a self-diagnosed ADD “info junkie” (different from a media junkie – check the DSM IV) with a Tumblr account.

Out of context exclamations like “Spectacular!” and “Witty!” mean little enough when credited to well known and respected publications with established reviewers on staff. The changing whims of someone micro-blogging under a pseudonym — a nome de tweet, if you’re feeling fancy — have no place in official HBO marketing materials. The fact that Webb helped cast Christina Applegate’s sitcom, Samantha Who?, or that Dazreil follows Jon Favreau does not make them Hollywood authorities.

To be clear, I’m not trying to attack these individuals. (OK, maybe a little.) As a matter of fact, a cursory review of Mr. Smith’s posts shows he and I might share some musical tastes, and as I am also the author of an unedited and advertiser-less media blog, I come from a place of understanding.

What I don’t understand is why HBO promotional execs thought it would be compelling to potential new viewers to read the 140-character-or-less recommendations of three anonymous schmos. I imagine the reasoning went something like this:

Newspapers = dinosaurs. Twitter = cutting edge. Cutting edge = young audiences. Twitter reviews = ratings gold!

Maybe this is a sign that we need to put an age maximum on the Internet.

Attack of the Memes: Twebinar

twebinar

I have a new least favorite word. I received a press release this morning announcing a “twebinar” taking place today. That’s right, a twebinar.

Twebinar (n): Webex Webinar + Live Twitter Session

Explains the release:

To post your questions and participate via Twitter, please follow Kevin Mallon at: http://www.twitter.com/kevin_at_fmi and use the hashtag #Bento3 in your tweets so that we will be able to respond to them immediately. The webinar portion of the discussion will run from 11:00am – 12:00pm PST, but we will be monitoring and responding live to the Twitter feed from 11:00am-1:00pm PST

Honorable mention to Twibes, the pwecious descwiption for Twitter-unaffiliated Twitter groups at Twibes.com.

The Slow Digital Death of Common Sense

Yes, the times are a-changing, and ever quicker, you might say, but the basic tenets of douche baggery are yet the same.

twittergate screenshot

An article ran in Saturday’s New York Times about a Broadway casting director named Daryl Eisenberg who tweeted sometimes nasty notes while holding auditions for a new play, unleashing a deluge of comments on acting web forums (each, presumably, lacking the flair and panache that will one day make each of these irate thespians a household name).

In Act 2, Einsenberg went in front of the drama tribunal of the Actors’ Equity Association union to sort the mess out and establish guidelines of proper Twitter use:

Ms. Eisenberg’s statement:

After a productive meeting with AEA this afternoon, I’m happy to report that we have agreed to both put this behind us.

By mutual agreement, future tweets will not be coming from the audition room regarding the actors auditioning.

I apologize to the actors and professionals who put themselves on the line every time they audition, and will continually strive to make the audition room an inspiring, nurturing place for creativity and talent.

I look forward to working with AEA and its members on future projects, and hope to see you all in the audition room soon.– Daryl Eisenberg

The statement from Actors’ Equity:

Earlier today representatives of AEA had a productive meeting with Ms. Eisenberg to discuss her use of twitter in auditions. AEA firmly blieves [sic] that twitter is a valuable promotional tool for producers to reach a wide potential audience but that tweeting has absolutely no place in the audition room, which is a safe haven for actors who are seeking employment in this competitive market. We believe this incident is now closed.

First of all, how the hell are these people taking themselves so seriously while using the words “tweet” and “tweeting”? It’s remarkable how quickly the silly meme has worked its way into mainstream and professional lexicons. I can’t wait for the day when companies are launching new campaigns on Doody Balls and communicating via Queefs. Or when Twitter is taken over by Flutter:

The troubling part, really, is the way the allure and excitement of a new social technology has obscured the fundamentals of social etiquette. You don’t need guidelines on how to properly utilize Twitter; you need to remember how not to be a total jack ass. The nascent medium has made sentient, rational adults revert to acting like overprivileged bratty teenagers. You got in trouble in high school for passing notes. It wasn’t because we needed to establish a set of rules for ink-on-paper, it was because you were supposed to be paying attention to your teacher. And did you get yelled at for it in college? No. Why not? Because by then you were smart enough to keep that shit to yourself. Using Twitter during auditions sits, on the Maturity Index, right next to a notebook page scribbled with “Do you like me? Yes/No Circle One.”

Folks, it isn’t like we’re talking about establishing coda for digital rights management here, or legislating stem cell research. The emerging technology is not the point, it’s ancillary. This is a simple case of common sense: Pay attention at work, maintain some level of professionalism, don’t be an asshole.