Category Archives: Write and Wrong

Language and (mis)usage.

Philly Wants to Take You Out (And Pet You. Or Kill You. Or Both.)

If your handwriting says a lot about you, then what does this choice of font on GoPhila.com, the official visitors’ site for the greater Philadelphia area, say about the City of Brotherly Love?

Well, since we know the city was founded a few centuries ago, it’s safe to say this is not the chicken scratch of a child. Thus, it remains to be reasoned that Philadelphia is

a. “special”

or

b. psychotic, and possibly dangerous.

Neither bodes well for your winter vacation. If Philly ever tries to stroke your shiny hair, don’t let it.

[Thanks, Terry]

Must-Read Email for Flaccid PhDs

Be gentle.

Over the years I’ve received my fair share of ill-targeted spam emails hawking miracle boner tonics. (I don’t possess such apparatus. And if I did, well, it would work, namsayin?) But this one, sent to the Unhappy Mediator’s civilian alter-ego is hilariously apropos:

From: <gueyajcr@stellamccartney.com>
To: gattoitalia
Sent: Sat, December 5, 2009 5:14:49 PM
Subject: Equipment for Don Juans

about graduated cylinder inside particle accelerator slyly uxorious
stalactites ball bearing
GrandImpotencyPillsLowPricess.
and starlets

Nothing gets this Don Juan turned on like talk of lab bench accoutrement, particle acceleration and geology.

Best. Sentence. Ever.

To the AP’s credit, the lead headline writer got food poisoning in Rome once and it totally ruined his vacation.

When I murder someone, I’m gonna pull for 25-to-life in Thailand.

High End Real Estate Market Goes Down

This beautiful NoLita condo includes a roof deck, washer/dryer, 1.5 baths and provides easy access to the downtown area if you catch the broker’s drift:

Conveniently located abutting Satan’s Alley between the the up-and-coming REgion of Cooper To Upper Mulberry and Corridor UNder Third neighborhoods.

Oxford’s Word of the Year: Unfriend

Monday the New Oxford American Dictionary named “unfriend” 2009’s word of the year.

unfriend – verb – To remove someone as a ‘friend’ on a social networking site such as Facebook.

As in, “I decided to unfriend my roommate on Facebook after we had a fight.”

“It has both currency and potential longevity,” notes Christine Lindberg, Senior Lexicographer for Oxford’s US dictionary program. “In the online social networking context, its meaning is understood, so its adoption as a modern verb form makes this an interesting choice for Word of the Year. Most “un-” prefixed words are adjectives (unacceptable, unpleasant), and there are certainly some familiar “un-” verbs (uncap, unpack), but “unfriend” is different from the norm. It assumes a verb sense of “friend” that is really not used (at least not since maybe the 17th century!). Unfriend has real lex-appeal.”

We’ve looked at the word “unfriend” before, and it’s not a wholly inappropriate choice. I do, however, imagine it’ll be somewhat disheartening to reflect on 2009 as the year that friendship lost its currency. Although, perhaps that’ll be better than always remembering it as the year that the dollar lost its currency.

Here are some of the runners-up. I took the liberty of coloring gray the ones I thought were stupid choices, because they’re idiotic, unremarkable or little-used in the vernacular, or, as in the cases of Ardi and death panel, a beneficiary of the recency effect.

Continue reading

Take them to heaven?

A sign at the post office for “The Angels of New York.” Well intentioned, but rather creepy.

angels of ny

 

More Fun with Apostrophes

FireShot capture #072 - 'How To Use An Apostrophe - The OatmealIn case we hadn’t beaten the apostrophe discussion to death, here’s an illustrated guide to proper usage from the guys over at TheOatmeal.com, a site full of quizzes and comics with (often misleadingly) clever titles.

It pretty much covers all apostrophal eventualities. One thing I’d like to add to the it(’)s question: think of the possessive “its” like “his” or “hers.” Those possessive pronouns don’t have apostrophes either. Neato!

Have grammar or punctuation quandaries of your own? You’re not alone. If you’re unsure, then others probably are, too. (Extensive market research of both this blog’s readers indicate that whoever you are, you’re most likely wicked smart.) Feel free to email the Unhappy Mediator with questions and maybe we can all learn something.

Meantime, click the apostrophe chart on the right, or visit the original at apostrophe.me

Happy punctuating.

 

 

ps. I second that –>

Look What U’ve Done

Peter Kafka stands up for acronyms’ old guard on AllThingsD today:

Internet culture, you owe the good people of Wisconsin an apology.

There they were, just minding their own business. And trying to generate a bit more business via the Wisconsin Tourism Federation, a 30-year-old industry lobbying group.

And then you smart alecks have to go and point out that the group’s acronym has become a popular way for kids these days to express befuddlement, in an R-rated way. (If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, go ahead and type “WTF” into a text message and send it off to some of your pals under the age of, say, 40. They’ll spell it out for you.)

So the WTF had to go and change its logo, Web site and name. If you’re looking for “Wisconsin tourism industry’s unified voice in government relations,” you should Google “Tourism Federation of Wisconsin” from now on.

What a hassle! All of which could have been avoided if you people were less reliant on acronyms and F-bombs.

But since that’s unlikely to change, somebody ought to give Finite Matters Ltd. a heads-up, too.

G2Gfone!

A Sad Day for English: William Safire’s Passing

William Safire, a speechwriter for President Richard M. Nixon and a Pulitzer Prize-winning political columnist for The New York Times who also wrote novels, books on politics and a Malaprop’s treasury of articles on language, died at a hospice in Rockville, Md., on Sunday. He was 79.

NYTimes, Sept 27, 2009

Over the weekend we lost our country’s most popular authority on words, the preeminent pundit of parlance. William Safire’s weekly On Language column in the New York Times Magazine was to usage mavens what US Weekly is to celeb-o-philes, and has been, to me, a consistent source of intellectual delight and professional inspiration. In fact, in June of last year Safire briefly noted at the end of an article that his researcher had taken another job. I took that as a cue, and sent him an earnest, if obsequious email pleading for the opportunity to apply. “I have oft pondered ways,” I admitted, “that I might scam my way under your tutelage.” (I received a call a few days later for an interview. Unfortunately the job was in DC. In retrospect, perhaps I should have considered the relo.)

From the Times obit:

The columns, many collected in books, made him an unofficial arbiter of usage and one of the most widely read writers on language. It also tapped into the lighter side of the dour-looking Mr. Safire: a Pickwickian quibbler who gleefully pounced on gaffes, inexactitudes, neologisms, misnomers, solecisms and perversely peccant puns, like “the president’s populism” and “the first lady’s momulism,” written during the Carter presidency.

There were columns on blogosphere blargon, tarnation-heck euphemisms, dastardly subjunctives and even Barack and Michelle Obama’s fist bumps. And there were Safire “rules for writers”: Remember to never split an infinitive. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors. Proofread carefully to see if you words out. Avoid clichés like the plague. And don’t overuse exclamation marks!!

I should have known those rules were his.

I doff my digital cap to Mr. Safire. Here’s hoping I can help forward the cause for correctness on Earth, and that heaven offers an abundance of malapropisms, lest eternity be boring.

Attack of the Memes: Twebinar

twebinar

I have a new least favorite word. I received a press release this morning announcing a “twebinar” taking place today. That’s right, a twebinar.

Twebinar (n): Webex Webinar + Live Twitter Session

Explains the release:

To post your questions and participate via Twitter, please follow Kevin Mallon at: http://www.twitter.com/kevin_at_fmi and use the hashtag #Bento3 in your tweets so that we will be able to respond to them immediately. The webinar portion of the discussion will run from 11:00am – 12:00pm PST, but we will be monitoring and responding live to the Twitter feed from 11:00am-1:00pm PST

Honorable mention to Twibes, the pwecious descwiption for Twitter-unaffiliated Twitter groups at Twibes.com.