More Fun with Apostrophes

FireShot capture #072 - 'How To Use An Apostrophe - The OatmealIn case we hadn’t beaten the apostrophe discussion to death, here’s an illustrated guide to proper usage from the guys over at TheOatmeal.com, a site full of quizzes and comics with (often misleadingly) clever titles.

It pretty much covers all apostrophal eventualities. One thing I’d like to add to the it(’)s question: think of the possessive “its” like “his” or “hers.” Those possessive pronouns don’t have apostrophes either. Neato!

Have grammar or punctuation quandaries of your own? You’re not alone. If you’re unsure, then others probably are, too. (Extensive market research of both this blog’s readers indicate that whoever you are, you’re most likely wicked smart.) Feel free to email the Unhappy Mediator with questions and maybe we can all learn something.

Meantime, click the apostrophe chart on the right, or visit the original at apostrophe.me

Happy punctuating.

 

 

ps. I second that –>

Space Elevator Is No-Laughing Matter

Space elevator + pop culture irreverence = scitechilarity

[xkcd.com]

Do You Take Your Gadgets for Granted?

In 1961 two programmers taught the IBM 7094 how to sing.

Kennedy was president, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” was a hit, the Germans were building a wall, and in a laboratory at IBM a room-sized 7094 Data Processing System, built for large-scale scientific computing, was haltingly half-crazy over the love of you.

In this photo from the IBM archives, the operator in the foreground is using the IBM 7151 Console Control Unit to monitor the system's performance, while the one in the background is checking on the 1301 Disk Storage Unit.

Later today, while you’re taking new music suggestions from Pandora or your personal iTunes Genius, give a think to how downright cool it is to be able to do so. We get so used to the technology that suffuses every facet of our daily lives, that it’s easy to lose perspective on the rapid evolution that’s taken place over the last four decades or so. Remember, not so long ago Sony’s Discman was cutting edge.

I was watching my friend look up something on his iPhone the other day. And I’m thinking, holy shit, it’s this flat little thing in the palm of your hand, and you can use it to talk to anyone anywhere in the world and you can just poke the screen to look up information on and photos of anything you want whenever you feel like it. (If you have signal, naturally.) It’s about 10,000 times radder than the communicators on Star Trek, and those were fictional. If the original Kirk were here right now, it’d blow his freaking mind.

Forty years from now people are going to look back at us and our cell phones and netbooks and think it’s all terribly quaint.

Google Game: Sugar

Riding high on Halloween candy — that I purchased for half-price at the drug store yesterday — and finding that my yen for sugar is virtually insatiable, I endeavored to sate it virtually.

gg sugar

I was a surprised to find a dearth of literally-sugar-related material, though these adorable little sugar gliders helped satisfy my searching’s sweet tooth:

Seriously. How cute are we?

Then hit a twinge of sour, however, as I was reminded of how many of my countrymen love country music. And Sugar Ray.

Most everything else in Google’s suggestions looked somewhat familiar. Except sugardoodle, aka SugarDoodle.com. So I took a gander. The site’s header says, “Growing Together [est. 2005].” I scrolled down the page, not understanding what I was looking at, and found an old school visitors counter: 24,757,355. Nearly 25 million in under five years. Not bad. But what is it all about? I read a bit more, a bit here a bit there, and I started to find answers… from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

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Venn Diagram of the Celebrity Undead

These are a few of my favorite things. Namely, zombies, graphs, and critique of organized religion:

14834_530861058162_14101031_31695738_2937487_n[via Farter]

1995? There’s an app for that.

Alice in Chains has broken forth from the shackles of where-are-they-now obscurity and reappeared in the likeliest of places. To accompany the Black Gives Way to Blue album release, their first batch of new material in a decade and a half, the band this week launched the Alice in Chains iPhone app. See the video for a riveting walk through.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

You can “spin things, flick it, turn it,” among other nifty moves, like pressing things and moving ’em around, holding and pulling them. You can also share the three included tracks with friends via facebook, twitter and email, and buy tour tickets and merch.

The guy doing the hands-on demo says you can “reveal certain things.” If anyone out there discovers that the app can “reveal” the origin of his accent, please let it be known. Aelice in Chaaynes aelbum? What is that, Fargo by way of Raleigh? Course, that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms/jar of flies.

Would you buy a SandSac?

Hows about a little free association on this fine Thursday morning? What do you think of when you see this word?

SandSac

Go ahead. Whatever comes to mind. Scrotal adhesion on a sultry desert day? Yeah, that’s typically what I get, too.

You see, I’ve been getting press releases from representatives of SandSac for a while, and each time I do I think it’s porno spam. But actually, it’s a beach toy, a foldable canvas pail-tote-hybrid. Behold:

sandsacFar be it from me to quibble with market research that says there’s a hole for this product to fill. But who focus grouped the name? I think it should be a rule of thumb that “Sac” be kept out of branding materials, universally, wholesale. It’s never really necessary — so many synonyms! — and always at least a little gross. Like moist.

Other words for the marketing moratorium? Let us hear your thoughts on words that’d make you barf before they’d make you buy.

If you don’t send this post to 10 people in 24 hours…

envelopeRemember chain letters? Real chain letters, the ones on paper that arrived in the mail. The ones you copied by hand and mailed, with postage, to 10 of your friends. And if you didn’t, you’d have years of bad luck. Seems like ages ago, doesn’t it? In fact, chain letters meant to bring luck have been traced back to the late 1800s, and their “Letters from Heaven” prayer-passing predecessors may have begun 100 years before that.

The 1980s, as some of us may remember, saw the start of the world record-seeking letters.

Hi this is a chain letter from a bunch of kids in Germany. They started it in 1975 and if it goes on till 1985 it will be in the guiness book of records it has not been broken yet So dont spoil it for them. Please copy this letter out six times and send it to six different people (Not the people below) and send a postcard to the first person on the list.

Apparently they were very popular in Germany…

This is a chain letter from Sil in Germany. It was started in 1986 if it goes through 1995 it will be in the Guiness Book of World Records (your name will be included) It has never been broken, so please don’t spoil it for everyone.

Of course, the Internet laid waste to that pedestrian tradition — and replaced it with an even more expediently (and immediately) annoying one, comprising the lamest of jokes, the drippiest of poems and, naturally, business propositions from Nigerian millionaires. Surprisingly, five paper chain letters were still in circulation between 2004 and 2008.

I’m neither the superstitious type, nor the type who oft overcomes laziness to copy and send out half a dozen notes, and as such I was never a big proponent of chain letters. And I certainly don’t miss them. But I do miss the way they reminded us how big the world is. An email from Australia is no more impressive than one from two cubicles over. A letter, on the other hand, posted from half a world away, literally has to travel half a world to get to you. Not one of those thousands of miles is virtual.

With the BlackBerries and the iPhones and the Internets, it’s as though the world’s billions are all within reach. It’d do us well to remember every now and again that we’re tiny specks on a big planet floating in space, and we’re not so close to each other as we think.

Google Game: Definition

dictionaryRecently, as I delighted over the sight of my brand new two-volume New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary stationed commandingly amongst the paperbacks and graphic novels on my bookshelf, I thought about how anachronistic a dictionary seems these days. Can you remember the last time you looked up a word in an actual, physical dictionary? (I can, but as we’ve well established I’m a severe dweeb.) Not that I don’t use the Web to look up words and synonyms; Merriam-Webster.com is one of the few buttons on my bookmark toolbar and it’s the quickest way, hands down.

So I figured, if I’m using online dictionaries and thesauri even while being nerdily enamored of the yellowed, brittle pages of my long-coverless Webster’s New World and the fragile leaves of my long-coveted OED, then most people probably go even more frequently, if not exclusively, to the Internet for definitions. And what are they most often looking up? To my surprise, when I typed “definition of” into Google, I found that people aren’t searching Cyberspace for mere meanings, they’re searching for Meaning.

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Jews Inherently Funnier than Shoes

Remember that “Shoes” video that was circulating for a while? People seemed to think it was funny? I never understood why, and frankly I found it downright unwatchable. But behold the power of parody. This recent send up, entitled “Jews,” takes an un-joke and actually makes it pretty funny:

Redemption through video response. Imagine the possibilities.