Facebook and the Lost Art of Storytelling

I’m a storyteller. I love weaving a yarn, on the pages of a magazine, or over coffee with a friend. But today’s constant flow of information makes it hard to get the drop on a juicy tale, and that goes for  good gossip as well as hard news. I find myself constantly scooped, even among friends and family.

Here, in brief, storytelling in the Facebook age:

Person 1: I was at Jason’s wedding this weekend.
Person 2: I know.
Person 1: Oh. Well, it was a beautiful wedding.
Person 2: Yeah, I saw the pictures
Person 1: I didn’t know you were friends.
Person 2: We’re not.
Person 1: But you saw pictures?
Person 2: You looked fat.

Person 1: Hey, my college friend Rachel had a baby!
Person 2: Is it a boy or a girl?
Person 1: Oh man, I don’t even know!
Person 2: It’s a boy. Get on Facebook.

Person 1: Big news! I called to tell you I–
Person 2: I know.

And they all lived virtually ever after. The end.

Google Game: Preparing

When I started this search I wasn’t prepared for such a striking contrast between issues of great import and cooking marginally exotic vegetables.

I’m certainly no expert on any of this stuff, but I’m pretty sure that for the first and the last queries Step One is the same: Bend over.

Best Intextions: Downgrading the Comma

I recently got a software upgrade for my piece of shit phone from Verizon. The upgrade did nothing to address the irritating little problem that causes the phone to spontaneously shut off. It did, however, randomize all my photos and change, of all things, the order of operations in predictive text. Moreover, it dissed the comma, one of my top five favorite punctuation marks.

It’s not enough that I have to unwire the muscle memory that I’ve developed using T9 for years, I’m also dealing with the conspicuous short-shrifting of the trusty comma. Once just a single “Next” press after the default period, the comma is now a full five keystrokes down the line, after the @ sign,  question mark, exclamation point and hyphen, in that order.

The comma is oft unappreciated, but to be considered inferior to the @ sign and the hyphen? A second class citizen, just one step up from an ampersand? It’s a sad, sad state of affairs.

Commas make your text(s) more readable. And they make you look smarter. (Bonus!) This is a call to action, folks. Don’t forsake the comma. Keep ’em coming, please.

Now I’ll return to quietly seething. Thank you.

Techy Wordplay Suggests Corporate Ass Play

Headlines like this one on News.com.au make me wonder if web editors are too pressed for time to see the big picture, or if web writers are quiet geniuses exploiting the 24-hour news cycle to publish subversively hilarious copy:

Possibly related posts:
RIM’s Balsillie Tears Jobs a New One;
Unimpressed, Jobs Turns Other Cheek
RIM Market Share Comes up on Apple from Behind
BlackBerry Claims It’s Not the Size of the Chip, but the Research in the Motion

BlackBerry Makes Reach for Jobs’ 10-Incher, Apple Could Take a Licking in the End

Most Ridiculous URL of the Day

tbs.com/avocados

And another thing about the Twitter

….it makes it real easy to go off message. Like really, really off message.

One Politician's Incredibly Unfortunate Tweet

Monday night, a spokesperson for California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman left a letter off the end of a bit.ly address in a campaign-related tweet. In a world of tiny urls, one letter makes all the difference. Think genetic mutation.

What Sarah Pompei’s followers were treated to wasn’t the promised endorsement by the Deputy Sheriff’s Association of San Diego County. Instead, the truncated link takes you here:

So, vote Whitman! Recommended by cross-dressing Asian pop dubbers the world over. And please, people, remember to tweet responsibly.

[Via Gizmodo]

Google Game: Since when is…

Some good questions, here:

Another might be: Since when do people Google Fran Drescher?

Well, it turns out Since When is Fran Drescher Jewish? is the name of a book by Chiara Francesca Ferrari, an Assistant Professor of Communication Design at California State University that looks at the cross-Atlantic cultural translations of three major American TV exports, The Simpsons, The Sopranos and, of all things, The Nanny.

“Since when is Fran Drescher Jewish?” This was Chiara Francesca Ferrari’s reaction when she learned that Drescher’s character on the television sitcom The Nanny was meant to be a portrayal of a stereotypical Jewish-American princess. Ferrari had only seen the Italian version of the show, in which the protagonist was dubbed into an exotic, eccentric Italian-American nanny. Since When Is Fran Drescher Jewish? explores this “ventriloquism” as not only a textual and cultural transfer between languages but also as an industrial practice that helps the media industry foster identification among varying audiences around the globe.

At the heart of this study is an in-depth exploration of three shows that moved from global to local, mapping stereotypes from both sides of the Atlantic in the process. Presented in Italy, for example, Groundskeeper Willie from The Simpsons is no longer a belligerent, alcoholic Scotsman but instead easily becomes a primitive figure from Sardinia.

Sardinia!

It’s pretty easy to take our prejudices for granted. Like the way I consistently offend my Japanese friend for a split second before he remembers that I grew up disdaining Jewish American Princesses. Or how mocking their accents really falls flat at a dinner table in Delhi.

At least we can count on people thinking the French are assholes. Am I right?

On Wife Beaters, Just a Thought

Ever find it weird how comfortable we are with the term “wife beater”? I mean, it’s kind of twisted. If you stop to think about it.

Comic-Con NYC, Highlights in Hindsight

My bad for going to Comic-Con last Friday and not reporting directly back. Among the books, the toys, the frenzy of cos-play, the unease of Japanese girlfriend-painted body pillows, what probably impressed me the most was seeing the XBOX 360 Kinect in action. The video above isn’t exactly riveting, but gives you the idea: No controller, no peripherals, no nothin’. Didn’t try it myself, but it looked pretty far out. Oddly, perhaps, I particularly enjoyed watching players go through the menus at the beginning, waving their hands up and down and snatching at the air like conjurers with wallet chains.

My guess is that at least for now it’s as much about the cool factor as it is about effective, precision game-play. But give it time.

After the break, my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE shot from Comic-Con NYC 2K10. Continue reading

What I Learned from an Online Dating Site (Gays Heart Buffy, I Heart Gays)

A statistical study performed by the folks at OkCupid illustrates gay and straight interests based on key words in the profiles of 3.2 million users. The data suggest with remarkable clarity that stereotypes are indeed based on facts — and explain exactly why I go for gay guys and people often think I’m a lesbian.

Results for men:

Results for women:

Damn you, internet.

[via gawker]