I was a little surprised to see that “most painful piercing” made it into this top ten.
OK, well maybe not that surprised. But anyway, I’m going to let that query go unanswered for now (feel free to search for yourselves) and focus first on the most-viewed YouTube video. Can you guess what it is? Take a moment or two to come up with your selection then follow me over the jump for the answer.
When I titled my last post I was aware of the Pixels video’s tremendously quick web saturation — I mean, that thing was all over geek and civilian sites in, like, seconds. I also noted (parenthetically) that the filmmaker’s name did not appear on the website of the production house he was e-rumored to belong to. Well, by the end of Friday my inclinations proved intuitively on-target: pirate versions of the video abounded, along with rampant false information on the auteur’s affiliation. I received an email from the studio responsible for Pixels asking me to correct any inaccurate information here. Of course I did so, and then wished them luck taming the rest of the internet.
It was a vivid microcosmic example of what happens — or at least could happen — on the web every day. The speed of information and the widespread lack of accountability, not to mention the commonly-occurring conflict between getting it early and getting it right, makes it way too easy to transform a flippant remark or malicious misinformation into a virtually unstoppable digital zeitgeist. For my part in this instance, I wrestled with some cognitive dissonance as a writer trying to keep up with the informational tide who also nurses a once-a-fact-checker-always-a-fact-checker’s discomfort with unverified information. In the end I compromised, deciding that the issue at hand — right studio/wrong studio — wasn’t such a big deal if I fucked it up and opting for timeliness with a weak disclaimer. The fact that I wavered at all, and whether or not others did, is immaterial; bad news travels as fast as good news and wrong news, and we’re the ones who set all of it in motion. We, meaning anyone who writes on the web, meaning basically anyone.
So if this is some sort of Internet parable, then what’s the lesson? Ideally: that people ought to take extra time and attention to minimize the trafficking of false or inaccurate material on the web. Realistically: This is the way things are and they’re not likely to change, so always remember to have some salt with your surfing.
Posted in Information Stupor Highway, Unhappy Media
Tagged accountability, fact checking, internet, patrick jean, pixels
It’s Friday and to keep things simple I’m just going to say: Watch this.
(OFFICIAL VIDEO)
I particularly like that the description of the video in various bootleg copies on YouTube says that it was shot on location in NYC. Yes, that was why the observation deck at the Empire State Building was closed for two days last month: Donkey Kong was shooting a scene up there.
The director, Patrick Jean, is associated with (though not on the website of), French production studio One More Production. Division, which has made videos for Beck, Grizzly Bear, Architecture in Helsinki and the inexplicably buzzy XX. Do check out the site if you’d like to see a hypnotic animation of a naked chick queefing diamonds. That oughta ride ya right into the weekend.
Update: Should have gone with my gut. Patrick Jean did not make the film for Division, One More staffers tell me, which explains his conspicuous absence from the former’s site, as I’d originally noted. That said, the rest of the out-stricken text is still true, including most importantly the video featuring a jewel queef.
Posted in Information Stupor Highway, Unhappy Media
Tagged beck, division, nintendo, patrick jean, pixels, queefs, the xx, videos
Two weeks ago I painted a picture of Facebook as a friendship stock market. Last night on the newest South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone painted Cartman as social networking’s Jim Cramer. Gold.
jkl
Vodpod videos no longer available.
jk
Naturally, I identify with Stan, the episode’s central character, as his friends and family coerce him into joining Facebook, which promptly adulterates every real-world relationship he has and eventually sucks him in completely (and literally). I feel that his experience, albeit animated, is example enough to buttress my nonjoiner resolve. Oh, and PS, South Park thinks your farm is dumb, too. Just sayin.
Posted in Information Stupor Highway, Unhappy Media
Tagged facebook, farmville, friendship, investing, jim cramer, south park, stock market
Even after taking this photo at the Port Authority I didn’t recognize the full extent of its error. We all remember that email that went around a few years ago about how you can read words whose letters are jumbled around as long as the first and last letters are in their proper places. That was what I thought of: Well, you can still read it, and if it gets the job done it gets the job done. But then I looked again, a little more carefully. A-t-v-i-e? Remarkable. Oh, and you can’t see it, but some sidewalk editor drew a small c between with A and the T. Probably walked off feeling pretty smart, too.
It’s so basic. What are people looking for online? Information, of course. What on? Let’s take a look at Google’s top ten.
From this I surmise that we, as a population seek
If I were a dude, and the type of dude that rides a bike, I would be all over DZ Nuts high viscosity chamois cream. Per the instructions you “drop your shorts” and apply “directly on perineal (taint) area” before riding. DZ Nuts! Taint! Gold!
I love the freedom guys have to talk about their tackle. Could you imagine the back of an FDS bottle saying “lift your skirt and spray liberally in the vag region”? Me neither. And the bottle certainly wouldn’t sport a graphic suggesting a wafting snatch.
Sky Mall, this isn’t right. It’s one thing to sell something heinous and tacky to older folk with failing, hairy ears, but don’t tell them that an amplifier disguised as a Bluetooth headset is going to “enhance your image” or give them “a more youthful appearance.” I know you’ve got to move product, but that’s just mean. Gramps don’t know better.
Listen, old people. (OVER HERE, GUYS!) I’m telling you this for your own benefit. Bluetooth headsets make people look like assholes. Mainly because they refuse to take them off, which is basically what you’d be doing. ‘Course if you’re already an asshole, then, yeah, I guess this might “enhance” that image.
Turn down that damn rap music, ya whippersnappers, I got a call from my broker coming through.
Can you figure out why I love this commercial?
If you guessed it’s because I love candy bars and making fun of iPhone apps, you win.
And so does this commercial. Indeed, it won a video contest to get on the air. I’m into these commercial contests. There’s a lot of lowest-common-denominator stagnation in the advertising world, and it’s refreshing to see some creative average joes getting a shot before they’ve been co-opted by the media machine and brainwashed to deliver formulaic tripe. For another quality product of open mic marketing, peep this freaking gem from the Super Bowl:
Posted in Shoot the Messenger
Tagged at&t, butterfinger, candy, doritos, iphone app, motorola, superbowl, tv commercials
(apologies for the soft focus)
We’ve all witnessed the quaint misuse of quotation marks for emphasis. As reader Mike suggested previously, “Like when you go to a restaurant that promises ‘excellent service’ and they put it in quotes.” What I really love about this sign at the DMV on 34th street is not just that it employs CAPS and quotes to stress the word “your,” but that it stresses the word “your” at all. Who else’s application would I be completing and/or signing?
Seriously. I get that they want people to take care of the paperwork before (Before) getting to the front of the line — I’ve seen how this system functions. What I don’t get is why the authors of this notice were compelled to place such import on “your.”
“Well, I think the main thing is that people need to get this shit done before they get to the front of the line.”
“Dude, forget front of the line, they need to get that shit done before they even come over here.”
“Plus, they need to be taking care of their own shit. No more of this coming over here with some other guy’s half-finished application. That really gets my goat.”
“OK, so we’ll underline ‘your’ and ‘before.'”
“We can underline ‘before,’ but we gotta do more with ‘your.’ This is too important. I say make it all uppercase.”
“Yeah! And put it on its own line!”
“For sure! And put quotation marks around it!”
“This sign rules!”
Yeah, that’s probably how it happened. Also, I dig that they maintained initial capitalization throughout. Here’s to consistency in the face of utter nonsense.
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No Happy Medium 