Google Game… You Rent Those?

Posted on Tuesday March 16, 2010 | Leave a comment

When it comes down to it, I’m sure there’s no way to be fully prepared for a lot of the things life throws at you, like, say, having a baby. You can rely to an extent on traditional wisdom, the experiences of your friends and family, books and whatnot — and after that it’s all trial and error. With the amount of baby-hullabaloo I’ve witnessed over the years I’ve acquired a decent amount of insight into the Pregnant Body and Life with Child. (Insight that I nary intend to exploit, though that’s neither here nor there.) So I, like most others who’ve also never been preggers, still know some of the ickier, more sensitive details about, say, breast feeding, or the prevention/correction of tearing (shudder) during delivery.

But of course, there’s plenty that I don’t know. Immeasurable amounts of information completely obscure to me. And short of getting myself knocked up (and, like, keeping it), there’s really only one way to find a lot of it out. Naturally, that’s Google. And naturally, some of it will be surprising. And kind of totally gross….

You rent those? Ew.

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That’s Mr. Pizza-Face to You: Embracing geekdom now for corporate dominance later

Posted on Monday March 15, 2010 | 1 comment

When I saw this commercial it surprised me to find that it was a PSA for a program from Time Warner Cable. It takes a lot for me to say nice things about Time Warner (shyster assholes), but this is a much-needed message, well delivered. According to the website:

In November 2009, Time Warner Cable launched Connect a Million Minds (CAMM), a philanthropic commitment of $100 million cash and in-kind donations. This five-year program was designed to inspire students to pursue learning opportunities and careers in science, technology, engineering and math (STEM).

What do I see in the future? Well, I do hope that the US ups its STEM game in the global marketplace. But it’s disheartening to think that our bosses will have been encouraged in adolescence to nurture the chips that being a geek in high school piles on their shoulders.

Still, here’s hoping the nerds of today in fact become the innovators of tomorrow. Back up plan: train all these kids to put customers on hold for an hour.

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It’s Cool to Know Other People Think about This Stuff, Too

Posted on Friday March 12, 2010 | Leave a comment

Anyone who’s a fan of NBC’s Thursday night line up has likely noticed that while The Office might have jumped the shark when it let Pam and Jim get together and tried to give the former “depth,” newcomers Community and Amy Poehler’s Parks and Recreation have significantly stepped it up after faltering first seasons. (Naturally, 30 Rock is still gold. Just gold.)

Community has really grown on me. Joel McHale, E!’s cute and witty nearly-Talk-Soup host, does a great job in the lead role. And Ken Jeong — remember the crazy naked Chinese guy from The Hangover? — has hit his stride as the quasi-evil Señor Chang. And of course, there’s Chevy Chase, who’s almost being written to adequately. But it’s probably pop-culture obsessed Abed, played by Danni Pudi, who gets me the most. At the end of each episode, he and Troy (Donald Glover) close up the show with 30 seconds of bizarre but understated hilarity that makes it seem like they’ve been a comedy team for years, though I can find no evidence that they have.

This one killed me. It combines three of my favorite things: Batman, candy and talking about candy. Hard to beat that. Enjoy.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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Israeli Commercial Parodies Hamas Assassination While US TV Watchers Debate Failing Starlet’s Baby-Aimed Tantrum

Posted on Thursday March 11, 2010 | Leave a comment

OK, we get it. Life in the Middle East is way more real. You don’t have to go rubbing our noses in it.

While Americans are spending another day up-in-tweets about the Lindsay Lohan/E Trade litigation, over in Israel a supermarket chain is airing a TV commercial that parodies the assassination of a Hamas leader in Dubai earlier this year. The ad, reports the BBC, features garishly-costumed actors and security-camera-esque footage (blatant and unabashed references to the successful assassination scheme), as well as the tag line “We offer killer prices.”

No punches pulled. Man. You couldn’t just let us have this one, could you? We get a healthy nationwide debate going — Is Lindsay really a milkaholic? Does she have one-name star power? Is that baby wearing underwear? — and you gotta go and one-up us like this with your edginess and your jihad. Sheesh. Let someone else have the drama for once, wouldja.

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Lost Boy: And then there was one (Corey, that is)

Posted on Wednesday March 10, 2010 | Leave a comment

When I first heard the news about Corey Haim’s passing, my thought was I’ve got to post that video he made. But I didn’t. It seemed in bad taste. Upon a couple hours’ worth of reflection, however, I’ve changed my attitude: The taste might be bad, but it’s too good not to share. Behold Me, Myself and I, from 1989.

I will admit that I got a pang of guilt and sadness when Haim says he hopes in ten years to be watching dolphins from his mansion in Tahiti (he wasn’t). But between the dramatic pumping-up of the alligator float, the new Japanese Pop Funk demonstrations beginning around minute 3 — you know, that “funky hip pop jam thing” — the modeling and the earnest ramblings (professional goal: to go from being the younger brother to the older brother, or the only brother), the bad feelings just sort of melt away.

Rest in peace, The Cute Corey.

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Once Upon the Cutting Edge

Posted on Wednesday March 10, 2010 | 1 comment

Last month Wired started a new blog, Wired Reread, wherein they look back at ads and articles in old issues. Some, like the beauty above, are pure gold. Ah, MiniDisc. I remember my friend’s older brother had a MiniDisc player. I thought he was so hip to the new technologies.

And there’s the AT&T ad from March of 1995, which includes this prescient copy:

In the future no matter where you are, the nearest phone will be close at hand. Miniature. Wireless. Small enough to wear on your wrist. Yet powerful enough to reach anyone. Anywhere in the world. The strap-on telephone. The company that will bring it to you is AT&T.

Got most of that right. I’m a little uncomfortable with the “strap-on” part, though.

And will we ever be able to thank Motorola enough for loosing us from the shackles of fax stacks? Imagine, you would be swimming in those half-glossy curled sheets right now. The horror.

[Via Gizmodo]

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Google Game: What’s so great about…

Posted on Tuesday March 9, 2010 | 1 comment

Every era has its fascinations, zeigeists that intrigue and often confuse. The most complex or enigmatic of these will persist in popular interest as the ages progress, placing time’s most enduring allurements in fraternity with today’s spurious obsessions.

And therefore we see our fellow man searching for an explanation for the defining strengths of our great nation (or is it?), da Vinci’s beguiling brunette and the whole of Christianity, while also probing the cloud for explanations of the buzziest of current concerns: Facebook, Twitter and Twilight, for instance.

Will Avatar be our generation’s Mona Lisa? When time obscures the context in which the movie represents a monumental step forward for technology and industry, will Googlers of Christmas Future wonder what so ensnared the collective imagination? Will James Cameron’s perplexing smirk make the coming generations wonder what he knows that they don’t? Or will they be too busy downloading pictures of Robert Pattinson to care?

I’m willing to wager, in any event, that Windows 7 will be long-replaced, BluRay gone the way of the laser disc, Twitter and Faceboook reduced to prominent points on an internet time line. And the iPhone will probably be made in America — a great place for cheap labor and manufacturing outsourcing — and shipped to China.

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Keeping it Clean on TNT: Die Hard, Try Harder

Posted on Monday March 8, 2010 | 5 comments

My favorite thing about a lazy Sunday is watching movies on basic cable. And my favorite thing about watching movies on basic cable is the overdubbing. Yesterday (like so many Sundays before it) the afternoon was inscribed by the first two Die Hards consecutively, punctuated, naturally, by a truncated “yippee ki yay, mother fucker.”

But it wasn’t until partway through Die Hard 2, in a control tower showdown between Bruce Willis and Dennis Franz that I got an earful of perhaps the worst, and therefore most entertaining, overdub I’ve ever had the pleasure to behold. Please pardon the budget recording and enjoy:

I mean, really, could they have found anyone that sounds less like John McClane? They might as well have had a woman do it. I guess when you’re trying to pull off changing “fat ass” to “fat feet” (is that what he says there? sounds like “fat geek”) it hardly matters who’s doing the VO.

Seriously, I can’t stop watching this.

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Posted in Unhappy Media

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Road Kill: Drive-By Mortuary Advertising

Posted on Friday March 5, 2010 | Leave a comment

Another billboard story coming from Los Angeles. In a year-long campaign Glendale, Cali. funeral parlor Forest Lawn has put up 80 billboards across the county. Says the LA Business Journal:

The campaign features three separate characters–a Latino man, an elderly woman and an old hippie-juxtaposed against inappropriate epitaphs. For example, the bearded hippie is misidentiffed as having “Served under Reagan.” Then comes the punch line: “Don’t have someone else’s funeral.”

William Martin, spokesman for Forest Lawn Memorial Parks & Mortuaries, said the non-profit is trying to get people to think creatively about their funeral.

“A hippie’s funeral should be different than one for the thtee-piece-suit [sic.] Reagan guy,” Martin said.

When my friend in LA sent me a photo of the above billboard that she passes on her commute to work I initially figured it was political commentary. Commentary on what, I wasn’t so sure. Then I noticed the Forest Lawn name in the upper right corner — and I was hardly less baffled. I’d love to see the others.  What’s the opposite of a Latino? And an elderly woman? What’s the ironic/inappropriate epitaph for her — “Taken too soon”? I’m totally for shaking it up and introducing a little levity to a heavy and taboo subject, but I can’t imagine how Forest Lawn pulled it off.

If any of you out there in the LA area have seen the other two ads, the Unhappy Mediator would love to hear what they say. You’ve got til August to find ’em.

[Thanks – again – Hilla]

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Not+so+grave+concern:+Forest+Lawn+aims+for+the+funny+bone+with…-a0212916199

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TV’s Most Meta Infomercial

Posted on Thursday March 4, 2010 | 1 comment

It’s an infomercial. But it’s making fun of infomercials. But it’s still an infomercial. Whoa.

And… AND! It’s got Gilbert Gottfried. Freaking brilliant. I mean, if you’re going to have some announcer yell at you for being too idiotic to complete simple tasks, it might as well be Hollywood’s loudest man berating you via boob tube. You know, come to think of it, I never did see why I had to bend all the way over to put on and take off my shoes…

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